Alexis – #privatejournal
Sexual guilt, anxiety, depression… I am free from all of that crap. I left my soul in the respiratory for a year. Do I feel worse than I did before? Damn, no. Everyone who has left their soul at least once knows the drill – the feeling that “you” can never be “I”,” and that your spirit is not a good Samaritan who will fix your problems with Ego each time you fall. So, why torture yourself? Let it go…
Wow, that was “deep.” Don’t you think?
We all have one special dream, especially when we are young. My dream was to become a professional solar football player. But then I met a guy, Anton Karlsson. I was so foolish back then, almost ancient… I believed in each word he said, and he said a lot. We met each other through my favorite game. He worked for LOLA, Solar Systems Exploration. Advances in technology, coupled with changes in demographics and cultural trends, transformed the world of sport, especially the rise of thrill-seeking, self-expressive “extreme” or “alternative” sports such as space surfing and climbing Mons Huygens, the biggest mountain on the Moon.
The changes that followed Maat’s discovery impacted everyone – athletes, football fans, politicians – and even gave rise to absolutely new sports. The invention of 2697 has challenged the traditional concept of “sport” and what it means to be an “athlete.” For example, can “sex in in the space capsule” be considered a sport? Well, you’d better adapt quickly, or be gone.
We, women, are raised to believe that Eve was made from Adam’s rib. Yes, nothing has changed in the 27th century. That means:
- We are a part of something that belongs to men
- We are different beings from men
- We are easily bent (we came “second” after all)
Our responsibilities are simple. Give birth, clean up, give birth again, feed others, and clean up. Repeat the process. As you can see, our society doesn’t give a shit about our souls or spiritual needs. Society is fine with this divided world of strong and weak, men and women, power and kitchen. So, what did I do? I decided to change the routine and become part of something bigger.
The desire to change the world,
the desire to feel that you are making a change…
is a Human Need.
And a woman is a human too!
But what if you are becoming a machine – a female machine – and each part of your body has been constructed by a smart-ass engineer? The process of transformation – understanding and accepting the New You – is quite a difficult road. You lose the feeling of belonging; you aren’t human, but you aren’t machine yet. You are connected to both parts of the world, tech and flesh.
My human self would have been overjoyed to know that becoming Alexis (a fully advanced nano-woman) is possible now, and free of charge. I only wonder if she’d like my new self…
At the end, here are a couple of facts about me:
- I am an orphan. That doesn’t mean that you have to like me, or feel sorry for me.
- I came to Mars to work for Gzero Times, and I believed in our mission – “to make Netericus a better place, to succeed this time”, but it seems that will have to wait. Gzero is dead, anyway…
- I am too loud, swear too much, fuck a lot, go behind the line, and I’m without limits.
I really don’t have time for this private journaling. I’m too busy fucking shit up in the hope of making a better future for the next generation of Netericus. And what are you doing? Yes… RIGHT NOW! Reading my bullshit?
P.S. One more thing. Nothing exists in isolation, and the Martian colony is no exception. I know too much. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m dead by morning. Ok, no more. I’ve already crossed the line…
Next post – The Pearl Territory, chapter 14 – #dialogue