OF COURSE or how to become a “Green Cat”

Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence. Antoine de Saint-Exupery

So here I am, back again. The most darkest and coldest time of the year calling for a new “writing actions”. So what did I do from June to December The First? 🙂

Too many relatives visiting and leaving. And you know how it feels with parents at home. They still think they can change or fix you. Or at least ‘help’ you to become what they think you are.

Next: vacation to Cyprus. The worst ever. I got sick with a very strange disease ( skin ). The doctor, when I got back to Sweden, couldn’t figure out what it is. He even checked the books lol
After that my nails started to become ridged and even separated from the nail bed. It’s like the nail just stopped growing properly for a while.
I understand, the Cyprus is a beautiful country, especially in the summer. But it was a bad experience and it will remain so in my memories. 

I also visited Romania, Bucharest and Draculas Castle. Wasn’t impressed much. Too many tourist with a kids. I think Dracula would love that. Especially the kids. For a dinner. HA HA HA (just kidding).

Different concerts, Stockholm shopping, and Ayurveda. I’ve started eating Ayurvedic food, that means eating according to my dosha (body type). It takes time. To COOK. If anyone told you the healthy/clean eating is cheap and easy/quick to prepare…they are liars. Unless you’ll eat the salads only. Alllllll day long.
But if you want to eat nourishing organic food for you body and mind – you’ll buy it and you’ll cook it. And you’ll know – it takes time, attention to a detail and money.

Then I got back to yoga. I call it “doing Nada-yoga”.
My inspiration – Janesh Vaidya. I have all his books (which are awesome, and I’ve read lots of books about Ayurveda, believe me). Books are in swedish language only. I think he told on his FB page there’re no books in english yet, but in swedish and german.

Right now I’ve created a routines (with help of his advices and recommendations) I’m following each day:
-starting my morning with Dharana (3-5 min to focus/imagination)
-pranayama (5 min for a breathing in “dead position”, life-energy)
-vinyasa (yoga sequences for my dosha. I do only 3 but 5 times)
-asana-sequences which balance my dosha

I guess that doesnt tell u a sh@t. But thats OK.

All together takes usually 30 minuts.

I believe that joy and peace of the mind and a right=healthy food is the best medicine. For our souls and bodies.

Also I’ve started bake my own bread. Old-fashion way, in the oven. Often gluten free sourdough from Durra (which is ay-ay-ay difficult and takes time). Kinda 48 hrs of preparation before I’ll get a fresh bread on my table. Ouch!

I’ve changed a photo and a color of my WP-page. Deal with it. Probably I’ll customise it more with a time or even change “The Theme”.

Yesterday I read a post on WP, called (not sure if exactly so) “Tell me when my writings sucks”. The idea: wouldn’t it be better if people (those who succeed) would tell us that we suck in our writings because it will encourage us to write better, become great authors and so on.
Maybe it works. But not for me. It doesn’t make me stressed or depressed or sad or angry (but be careful some people can stress out a lot and sit nights and days with a wish to fix the un-fixable), because I know we are different and we are experiencing life in a different way. I’m OKAY with that.

But stop right there. Dont push your luck any further.

 Opinions about “style” or “writing” or “ideas” is a deep-deep water. I care about you, peeps. I don’t wanna you to get drown. So my point here – just enjoy. Its fine if you wanna be mean. I’m mean all the time. Just be conscious in your “mean-esss” 🙂

All the above reminds me a bit about the lessons in old russian schools where you have to sit an hour or more and wonder “What the author wanted to tell us by using a dark dirty brown color in the description of that street on page 56?” Hours passing by… You come up with something crazy or you are too tired and using “the stolen words from the last articles about the book”.  The teacher is pushing you. You are trying to figure it out. “Dark Dirty Brown Color”. You are on the way to open A WHOLE NEW UNIVERSE because you think YOU KNOW something nobody knows. Nope. Fk that! Even author don’t know! Yeaahhhh! Or maybe the dude was wrong all the time. Time to enlighten him 🙂

The simple truth is – you’ll never know “why” or “what exactly the author wanted to tell us”. Because it wasn’t you who wrote that piece of the literary work and because, to be honest, the author don’t know as well. You can just GUESS IT. Or you can break it through your prism of mind and come up with some new fresh solution…to make your teacher happy. 

Why am I here? I saw a book at the book shop on tuesday. I actually was looking for a book about health and watercolour techniques.
The name of the book –  “Den vita rosen” (The White Rose”).
The writer is a danish woman. Olga Ravn.
I opened it. And there it was. Inspiration.

How does it look…inspiration? Like a blank page.

It was a first book of the poetry with a blank pages. I never seen it before. I bought it for 229 kr.

Later, at home, when I prepared my afternoon-tea…I suddenly said: Green cat. And the idea was born and written down. 7 days of the week. Relationships between couple. The concept: words-pictures, like episodes in a movie, kinda when you cut almost everything off and leave only couple of images to make viewers understand what’s going on.

You open your eyes and you see. You shut your eyes and you don’t. Open – Shut.

Why Green Cat? I dont know. I dont care. Is it about “cat” at all? 🙂 

Any questions? You are welcome. My notifications are off tho. 


Victoria Ray NB View All →

Living in Sweden. Awesome. Happy. Writing. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Drawing. Meditation/Yoga.

22 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Yeah! I’m glad to see you back and that you are getting healthier and happier. That 5-minute “breathing in dead position” sounds like something I might excel at. Italy and sedentary life-style are killing me and I’ll soon need to do something too.

    Is the poetry book fully empty or does it have poems but also blank pages? Sounds fascinating.

    I’ve been watching a documentary series about the kids born in old Soviet Union getting older by 7 years. Do you know this project, Born in the USSR? They were born in 1984, it seems. In the last part they are 28 years old (but I haven’t seen this one yet). Originally the idea was British and those British kids from Seven Up series will be 63 years old when the next part is out in two years. Imagine this, watching lives pass in this way. It is extremely interesting, also the comparison of the British and Soviet kids and how they live and grow up.

    So this has been inspiring me lately. And I sent in my first photograph to a competition. One is for free, but if I send 5 (and pay) they say they provide a free critique. Not so exciting about that… It’s similar like somebody telling me I can’t write to make me write better. Really? I agree with you… not such a good idea.

    Wishing you a merry December. Great that you’re here!

    • Breathing in dead pose is my favorite (of all the time). I don’t have any acrobatic skills but I do what I can 🙂 u btw could run online test about dosha type. There’re lots of interesting info/advices usually (after u’ll find ur dominant dosha/element).
      The poetry book is kinda allegory: the flowers in vases personify the sickness, sick girl, disease, the way she sees outside-world. I guess those empty pages r the empty spaces between vases. Yep. There’re poems. 1 or 2,3 lines-poems. Example: ”My hand is red from the sun. x x x”
      Nope. Haven’t heard about “Born in the USSR”…🤨😭😭😭 maybe too old aaaa was born 1978. Oh lucky them, it’s fun to watch own life at diff stages and in diff conditions/environment. I have to check the project now! Goooogggllleeee ;))

    • Ok…so they want you to pay them for telling u whats wrong and how to fix it/become better. Idk 😐 I’d be irritated but from the other side if it’s very important (professionally important) for u – I’d say..why not? But if u taking photos only for fun – then no point. Also if u want to know what they expect from u in such competitions – also way to go and pay for a critique:)

  2. Adds Cyprus to somewhere I will not be going haha. Sorry that happened to you. I love yoga, I have these 23 minute routine videos. I mix it up with pilates which is inverted yoga, in my opinion. Eating healthy, is the great lie, as far as cheap and easy. But I only do it half the time so it’s only half a pain in my rear ;):):)

    • Cyprus? Never 😂
      Yoga is my therapy. Food is my medicine. That’s my routine for now 🙂 we’ll see how it goes.
      23 min is perfect for routines in the morning. Ppl often think they should do something impossible and usually saying: I don’t have time. I can’t find time. The answer is: TAKE TIME. We all taking shower or bath, eating etc…we take time to do that! btw also a part of daily routines:)
      Great with Pilates! I’m sure u feel it, the change & happiness in ur body 🙂

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