“Here I am”, said Jonathan Safran Foer (18+ only)

There is nothing more whole than a broken heart…

I don’t know how to write a book review properly. Or if there’s any “properly”. But thats exactly why I’m writing it. Yesterday I’ve finished reading “Here I am” J. S. Foer (took almost 2,5 days). 
If you are Jewish, waiting for your bar mitzvah (I didn’t know what it is, but I’ve googled), if you are in the middle or in the beginning of divorce (or simply dreaming about that day to come), if you are unhappy dude or dudessa, who is worried about situation in the Middle East, into politics or religion, don’t understand what’s happening with your kids and why the heck they grew up so quickly; if you are checking porn with a sound off or sexting to chicks you’d like to destroy by your strong and always erected Big Boy (who isn’t the boy anymore, lets be honest); if you’d like to know how Steven Spielberg’s penis looks like (goshhh), what does the therm “a happy family” means and how easy it is – to put an old dog to a sleep — this book is for you.

Jonathan Safran Foer is telling a story of one jewish family: Jacob and Julia Bloch + their three kids (boys of different age) who are living in America but trying to follow the jewish rules and traditions.
They, suddenly, after 16 years of marriage, understand that the love is gone and sex as well. I’d say it is 60% broken relationship-story, 20% – religious, 20% – political reflections. I’d never pick up that book for my ‘on-vacation-relaxing-reading’ but I’ve bought it couple of months ago and planned to read it some day. 

First of all – why I bought it. Because I’m a dirty freak. Just as you are ( I know that you’ll run to the store to order the book after the words you’ll see…) Check:

And it is everywhere.
Especially I loved the explanation – why she/or he “deserved to be f…d” or why they didn’t deserve it at all.
What a person should do ‘to NOT deserve it’? Are you up to uncover the mystery? 

What did I like?

I loved the endless pages of dialogues.
Between kids.
Between parents, who think the kids can’t hear them. Or dont understand them. Or they are just too busy with their sex-life and midlife-crisis…

I loved the explanation why Abraham is two-faced and what does the name of the book means. By the way, would you kill your son if the God asked you to do so?…Hm

I loved the bunch of the funny stories, new quotes, and even meanings/words (dont forget about hot-hot-HAWT sexting lessons).

I liked chapter “The genuine version”, where a teen-son sharing the hundreds of variations of jerking off: from hair gel to honey, from toilet paper roll to green aloe. He was a mad-scientist masturbator. He also tried to suck himself and many-many other “things’ you’ve never done or dreamt of.

I liked the structure of the chapters as well: Here I am, Here I am not. And also the end of the book, the last chapter called “The Bible”. A very New Version, believe me, from 2017. 

What I didn’t like?

Mmmmm, the font or a printing type. It’s too small. When I open the book and I see this kinda font – I put it back (no regrets). It takes ages to read such book. I have only 2 eyes, and they are already wearing the glasses.

Religious prayers or songs. Or whatever it is. I mean – really, Jo? Anyway, relax, I didn’t read them. Too difficult for my poor tired brain.

Political stuff. Jerusalem, Tel Aviv, War, Arabs, and so on. Not really my strongest part, I have to admit it.

Grandparents. Too boring peeps. I waited almost to the end of the book (in a hope) that the  grandpa will die. But he didn’t. Only great-grandpa. Such a pity.

The style of the book, in general, a bit heavy for me. Probably because I’m not a native speaker. But some places are really well-easy-to-feel-and-relate-written.

Cool dialogues, but I often caught myself on a thought that I didn’t know really who is talking with whom. Ahhhh, whatever.

Anyway, decision is yours. I don’t wanna push you to read it in 2018. Nope.
But in case if you still have a doubts, check my favourite quotes:

1.“You know the story about the couple who get divorced after 80 years of marriage?”
“Everyone asks ‘Why now? Why not decades ago, when there was still life to live? Or why not just see it through to the end? And they respond, ‘We were waiting for the grandchildren to die.”

2. When God asks for Abraham, Abraham is wholly present to God. When Isaac asks for Abraham, Abraham is wholly present to his son. But how that can be possible? God is asking Abraham to kill Isaac, and Isaac is asking his father to protect him. How can Abraham be two directly opposing things at once?

3.You aren’t happy. You seem happy. Maybe you even think you are happy. But you aren’t.”
“You think I’m depressed?”
“No, I think you put enormous emphasis on happiness – your own and others – and find unhappiness so threatening that you would rather go down with the ship than acknowledge a leak.”

4. Lets go to bed…Those 4 words differentiate a marriage from every other kind of realtionship. We aren’t going to find the way to agree, but let’s go to bed. Not because we want to, but because we have to. We hate each other right now, but lets go to bed. Its the only bed we have. Let’s go to our sides, but the sides of the same bed. Let’s retreat into ourselves, but together.

5.Babies kick you from the inside, and then they come out and kick you some more.”
“It’s been my experience,” Julia said.
“I read it in one of my parents parenting books”
“Why on the Earth do you read those, Billie?”
“To try to understand them.”

6. Jacob was standing, his penis exposed, next to Steven Spielberg, whose penis was exposed. What were the odds?

7. ‘Good people’ dont make fewer mistakes, they’re just better at apologizing.

8. To be OR not to be. That is the question. To be AND not to be. That is the answer.

9.Without love – you die. With love – you also die. But not all deaths are equal.

10.Believe him anyway. We’re his parents.”
“Thats right. And we have to teach him that actions have consequences.”
“Believing him is more important,” Jacob said.
“No,” Julia said, “loving him is more important. And on the other side of punishment, he’ll know that our love, which requires causing him pain every now and then, is the ultimate consequence.”

Book Reviews

Victoria Ray NB View All →

Living in Sweden. Awesome. Happy. Writing. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Drawing. Meditation/Yoga.

53 Comments Leave a comment

    • No doubt you are haha 😂
      And thx…I wouldn’t put it in my reading-re-reading list, but it was an interesting experience:) let’s say I liked more than disliked 🙂

  1. Hey! I really don’t care about the book review, I only know that I got money today and that is o.k with Makey, so when do we get married and where?
    And no, I’m not drunk nor high…….

    P.S. Are you really the one in the photo?

  2. Before I started reading, I thought it will be a usual kind of book review…but kept on reading till end…Very Interesting way of writing a review. I guess I wouldn’t have gone for the book if I had read the synopsis on goodreads but now after reading here I might just give it a look 🙂 😛

    PS : Loved the 7,8,9th points of your favorite quotes. 🙂 and rereading the first line
    “There is nothing more whole than a broken heart…” 😛

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