“Dulcinea Lovinescu – the code girl”

a young girl with pink eyes and hair, like a doll

Meet Dulcinea and Erik, the heroes of my book The Dulcinea Project (46,000 words). This is a second edit. I’m planning to edit one more time – in February – and then send to proofreading/copy editing in March. This book, book 1 in a series, will be published at the beginning of April. I’m planning to publish book 2 in the series in April, 2020.

Genre: Young adult, adventure, fantasy
There’s zero sex/erotica in this book, which is a “new” step for Ray 😂

From Chapter 3

“I’d like each of you to briefly introduce yourself. We’ll start with Erik. Who are you? Why you are here?” said Mrs. Johansson, sitting on a chair and smiling at the class ‘Eleven’.

“I’m originally from New Jersey. My parents moved here three years ago. My dad is an engineer and my mum is a manager in an electronic company, ‘Tjoho.’ I don’t want to sound like a bad guy, but if anybody sees me at the school or on the street, DO NOT talk to me like you know me, or as if we are friends. Because we are NOT.”

“Very kind of you… so what makes you special, Erik?” Mrs. Johansson pretended she was interested in the way Erik tried to make himself different from the rest of us. I have been in this position before. They ask the important questions. They want you on their side. They pretend to be cool. But, in reality, they aren’t interested in the answers, or in you.

Who are ‘they’?
Ah, you know them well – grown ups!

“I can see the energies. Different people or objects represent different kinds of energy.”
“And?”
“That’s all so far.”
“Maybe you’ll give us an example, Erik.”
He looked around. His eyes stopped at my table for a second, then moved to the left side of the room. I sighed, “Thank God” and… heard my name.

“Let’s take Lovescu.”
“Do you mean Dulcinea?”
“Yeah. What a name, right!? Ha ha!”
I looked down at my feet. The best part about feet – they are always down there when you need them.

“Her energy is the darkest here, in this room. I know she seems sweet and all that, but don’t be fooled by her nice, innocent look or that pink, fluffy short hair. The hue of her soul is the mix of all colors. It is ashy, faded and dark. I’d say you are seeing a D U L L mess of energy when you look at her.” Explained Erik.
“Are you saying she has a messy spirit? Don’t we all?” asked a voice near the window.

The class started to buzz.

“No. Her energy is peculiar. I’d call it – Swirling Darkness, without the end. Dreadful. Deathlike. Yes…” Erik paused, and the silence in the class was still there when he continued. “Death – that’s it.”

He couldn’t know it – nobody knew – but still, he said I’m spreading the worst energy in this room. What would he think of me if he knew that I had already killed two people (and probably 2 of Kaitlin’s cats)? What would they all think of me? Is it possible to be “good” while bringing wickedness wherever you went? And the most crucial question: how to stop being Death?

It is interesting how sometimes we wish for it, and then when the end arrives – we don’t. Death is like a double edge sword: sweet and bitter. We hate, respect, mourn and love it. Yes, death can be loved too. If only Erik could see that. But all I could find on his cute face was coldness. Grief. Horror. And pain: “You are evil energy, Lovinescu!”

“Evil energy” was hard enough for me to handle.

I looked at Erik, and I wanted him dead. Right at this moment. But all I did was burst into tears, run from the class and out of that damn building. I have never been a runner, but I felt that was the perfect moment to learn. The streets were almost empty. Where are you, people? And what is it for the place? Why my dad agreed to move here? He told me I don’t have any powers or super abilities, that I’m just a normal girl. Maybe a weird one, but still… Dad made me feel as ordinary as any typical teenager, but look – my life is R.U.I.N.E.D now. In one day. By one word.
No, I didn’t feel hate. Not to my parents, teacher, class or Erik. It was the emptiness and apathy that torn apart my soul.

I stopped beside a parked car and checked my own reflection in the dusty window. “What are you, Dulcinea?” I asked myself. “What are you?”


Next post – “The Pearl Territory”, chapter 5 #Alma – private journal 

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23 Responses

  1. Tom Darby says:

    Clicks right along.

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      Thank you, I have holes in the story tho. And it feels like character is “flat”. But considering it’s book 1 in a series – should work 🙃🤨

  2. Edwin says:

    Nicely done. You have clearly defined the protagonist/antagonist pair. Just one suggestion: Try rewriting this excerpt using the present tense. This might seem awkward at first, but try it. When you are finished, reread both versions and see which one you like better. Happy Writing!

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      The thing is…I don’t have clear antagonist. Erik is just a silly boy. Maybe I should make him evilish, but I won’t. Not in the book 1. And maybe never. I kinda like him 😂😂 I can kill him (easy) but to make him evil, ah it would break my heart :))
      In general I don’t have antagonist in book 1 LOL maybe the place. Yep, antagonist is the Reality. That’s how it is…

      • Edwin says:

        Question: Why can’t Erik serve as the antagonist AND the hero? Just a thought. I’m going to bow out of this conversation…think I have said enough, maybe too much. You’ve piqued my interest in your work and that is saying a lot. Enjoy your victory and congrats!

      • Victoria Ray NB says:

        Erik can. But I also have Joel, Brolle, Osa & Loo.
        It’s a big crowd 🙂 and person is always “bad” & “good” in the same time.. kinda.
        We’ll see how it goes. And thanks.

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      Why present tense? She’s telling the story that already happened.

      • Edwin says:

        Think hypnosis…as though she is reliving the story instead of retelling it. Just a suggestion but I encourage you to try it out for a test drive. If it doesn’t work, then at least you covered your bases. If it does work, then you strengthened your story.

      • Victoria Ray NB says:

        Maybe it will work, but I have to rewrite the whole book, and who’s got time for that? 🙂 I still need to edit all the crap, fix my flat heroes…and publishing date is in April (kinda soon lol)
        I’m not striving for perfection. I just want it too be readable (fun to read).
        Hope it will work as it is. But I see ur point, would be better in present tense, probably…

      • Victoria Ray NB says:

        The thing is if I’ll rewrite each my story to make it better..or perfect – I’ll never publish shit. So nope, thx. I’m planing 2 books each year. And I’ll stick to the plan, no matter what 🙂

      • Edwin says:

        Yeah, I wouldn’t touch it either. This is probably an issue for you and your editor/publisher to hammer out. I look forward to reading it. 🙂

      • Victoria Ray NB says:

        Yep 🙂

  3. I’m hooked. I want more!!!

  4. Anonymous says:

    how to stop being Death?

  5. George F. says:

    “…how to stop being Death?” I’m hooked, and now interested in Erik who can see her very soul. Intriguing…I’m taking notes…you get right to the point…

  6. Baffledmum says:

    I’m left intrigued… can’t wait for the next part… 😯

  7. Anonymous says:

    Despite the ‘suggestions’ your book, go for it! Like the placing of the word “apathy”!

  8. I enjoyed this snippit. Yes I’ll buy it if you publish it. I love this line, “I looked down at my feet. The best part about feet – they are always down there when you need them.”

  9. Jerry Laiche says:

    Very dark, very scary. Are you the bringer of darkness? Ever heard of Hecate? check her out, I think ya’ll would hit it off. Dark but good and well written.

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      I know Hecate 🙂 or let’s say – about her. I read/know really ALOT myths & legends (one of my fav books between 13-15yo).
      Yes, I hope the text will work for teens.

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