Choose “MUST” in 2020

#takeawaykeys from the book of Elle Luna “The Crossroads of Should and Must: find and follow your passion”

  1. Picasso said about his life and work “It’s not what an artist does that counts, but what he IS.”

What he did was what he was. WHAT HE DID WAS WHAT HE WAS. JOB = CAREER = CALLING. Now ask yourself: a) who you are? B) what you do? C) are you doing what you are, what you believe in?

  1. There’re 2 roads: SHOULD and MUST.

To choose MUST is to choose the experience of being alive and say no to the layers of destructing expectations from the people, world around us.

Van Gogh said: “What am I in the eyes of the most people – a NONENTITY. An eccentric, or an unpleasant person – somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then – even if that were absolutely true, then I’d like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart.”

  1. A prison doesn’t have to be a physical place; it can be anything your mind (environment) creates or teaches you.

As a result, we are choosing what we SHOULD do, instead of MUST do. Why?

  • Because SHOULD is familiar, we grew up under the wing of SHOULDs.
  • Because MUST is terrifying, incomprehensible.

Our prison is constructed from the lifetime of SHOULDs. Set yourself free!

  1. The path to MUST is a path we create. It begins in nothingness, emptiness – a tabula rasa, as Aristotle called it. (the tabula rasa is a blank page)

If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step… then this is not your path. What to do if you don’t know what your MUST is?

  1. Early childhood holds the earliest seeds of MUST
  2. Look within – if you had only one day to pursue some idea, project or activity? What are first three things that comes to mind?
  3. What do you do when you are doing nothing or procrastinating?

     5. Best way to find MUST.

Acquire one new skill a month and look for patterns, connections, themes. The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out WHY.” Mark Twain

  1. What if doing what you love doesn’t pay?

If you want to get by on this planet – you must make money. Well, T.S. Elliot was a banker, Kurt Vonnegut sold cars… as long as you keep your eye on your MUST and optimize the time and energy – we should work to make money. We can’t have all at once.

  1. The biggest block to MUST is time.

You make time for what you want. If you are not prioritizing things you say you care about, then… you don’t actually care about those things. Often, knowing what we want is the hardest part. What do you want? Do you know it?

Ok, ok… you have 5 children and you have a mortgage. We all have a net of obligations. The most effective way to find out your MUST is to find (at least) 10-20 minutes. It is possible to find …

  1. You are old.

Leonard Cohen gave his first major performance in 33. Laura Ingalls Wilder published her first book Little House in the Big Woods at the age of 64. John Glenn went to space at 77. Ginette Bedard ran her NY marathon at 81.

  1. Biggest Fear nobody want to talk about – vulnerability.

Choosing MUST means you have to confront your biggest fears. You might ask yourself what it’s all for… some obscure dream? Childhood fantasy?

Don’t rush with the decision! Don’t make the leap! The most sustainable MUSTs happen slowly and quietly.

“Every morning, upon awakening, I experience a SUPREME PLEASURE: that of being Salvador Dali. And I ask myself, wonderstruck, what prodigious thing will he do today, this Salvador Dali” #quote

  1. As you choose and follow your MUST, your actions affect everyone and everything around you. MUST is both the journey and the destination! Today you get to choose…

“Music heard so deeply, that it is not heard at all, but you are the music while the music lasts.” T.S. Elliot #quote


Next post – “Rewrite until it hurts”- resolutions

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34 Responses

  1. Excellent post, Victoria. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Mireya says:

    I Th ink my problem is doubts. I create all the time and have a few shops but haven’t sold much. I know I need to just create

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      To sale u have to push marketing side, and it’s quite difficult. At least if you are an indie (or creating a product at home). But anything is POSSIBLE!

      To learn marketing – takes:
      – strategy/plan;
      -time;
      -money/investment…

      Doubts r often keeping us “down”. I have it too, but Im trying to make it work…

      One of the reviewers said that my book is pure “head ache” & I don’t have any “writing style” and, in general, out of standard.

      Well…ok. I decided I’ll call those books in the series – “Out of Standard” = cool title & gives a glimpse of what I’m doing 😏😜

  3. Sorryless says:

    Love these, RNB.

    They are all MUST reads.

  4. George F. says:

    Great post! Uh, Tabula Rasa? You know my latest post is entitled “tabula rasa no more.” Were you aware of this or is this a ….COSMIC COINCIDENCE? It’s been up for over a week so I did not imitate you….damn! I MUST continue!

  5. George F. says:

    And I didn’t know Vonnegut sold cars. I keep telling myself Einstein worked on the theory or relativity while working as a postal clerk or something equally dreary. It wasn’t until this theory got published that he was even acknowledged by other physicist’s! And you’re never too old until you’re 6 feet under. Stephen Hawking wrote (typed) with his one eye muscle that was able to move!!!

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      I didn’t know he sold cars too :/ but it’s often so – writers have a normal job + create their wow-books on the side, in a spare time. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes it takes weeks. Most important to follow your calling 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🕺🕺

  6. All great artists were NONENTITY at one point. Eccentric for sure.

  7. I think we all embrace the “must.”

  8. K E Garland says:

    I really like and agree with #6. A lot of people think it’s some either/or situation. You do not have to quit your job to pursue your passion. I mean if you can, then go ahead, but most adults have to make money to eat lol

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      True, we should take care about ourselves first …make money for living is absolutely normal/essential.
      Then – calling :))

  9. ortensia says:

    I love the post……..must all the way🤓

  10. markbierman says:

    Well said, Victoria.

  11. Great stuff, you make my day. Thanks.

  12. Humm, and I just posed the question as to if I was lazy or brilliant 🙂 “Must” be a little of both. But I decided I was not my careers. Those were necessary evils that allowed me to Must be. And BTW, I love Dali

    • Victoria Ray NB says:

      Sometimes we are not our careers, and our calling lies in diff field 🙂

      • That is quite true. In hindsight, I can see how I followed the zigzagging path I was on. I was clearly not pursuing money, but idealism. Thoughts that I could somehow change things for the better. I think writing holds more potential for that as what I saw in the working world was a lot of institutional meltdown – mostly corrupted, no longer serving their intended goals, false mission statements . . . I need a mission statement for my life 🙂

  13. Simon says:

    There’s so much that I must do… I’ve just got to do it – Easy right?

  14. alexraphael says:

    A nodding head all the way totally post

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