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#coolprompts ‘Danjyo Kankei’ 

#coolprompts ‘Danjyo Kankei’
8 October – 14 October

There are 7 variants/choose any:

  • It is very rare for a Japanese man to praise his wife (or woman) openly. Imagine that you are a japanese man. Write a poem, letter, or conversation with/about your wife. 
  • Many japanese people seem to have an image of relationships in the West that is built purely on what they see in the movies. Do they have a realistic view of love and romance in the West? 
  • Write sex or love scene that would be approved by a japanese father.  
  • You met an old friend, you haven’t seen him/her 10-15 years. She (or he) is living in Japan now. Describe your conversation.
  • You are Japanese maniac (psycho, murderer). What are you planning and why? 
  • Haiku, senryu. 
  • Or choose any theme below from the discussion-section.


  • To participate: post a story, poem or flash on your blog, tag the post – #coolprompts, pingback to Ray’s post (or any last post on RayNotBradbury’s Blog). Any genre/style is welcome! No boundaries at all! It’s OKAY to bend the rules. Have fun!

What is ‘Danjyo Kankei’? 

Part 1. Historical overview.
Historically, the relationship between men and women in Japan has changed in accordance with the dominant social system. In the distant past, Japan was a matrilineal society in which women had rights to succeed to the property of family, and there were many female leaders. During medieval times social and political priority was given to men and the IE system had started to bloom.

Ie = house/home 

Male-female relationships began to change completely in the period of confucianism (the idea ‘ men outside – women inside). This attitude became widespread and is still prevalent in Japanese society today. 

Part 2. Meanings and expressions

Husband in Japanese – shujin, that means ‘main person’ (there’s a belief that husbands are superior to wives and that wives should always be at home and obey husbands). 

If you are going to say expression ‘men and women’ (danjyo) or ‘husbands and wives’ (fuufu) – you have to compose the expression the right way…and the right way is to put ‘men/husbands’ first.

The japanese language also has many expressions for females , which sometimes make fun of women or dictate how they should behave:

  1. Otoko-masari – a woman who is superior to men physically, spiritually and intellectually. Literally ‘ women, who exceeds men’ – given a negative meaning (such women are usually disliked).
  2. Otenba – tomboy, healthy and too active young girls. Such girl will be expected to learn to behave modestly and humbly…
  3. Hako-iri-musume – daughters in a box, girls who grew up as some kind of treasure.
  4. Tekireiki – the right age to marry, used to put pressure on women to marry. If they stay single and pass through tekireiki, they are often called ‘urenokori’ – the situations where vegetables are left unsold. Because these expressions are so negative, these days people are gradually refraining from using them, but they still remain in japanese consciousness…

Part 3. Husband and wife relationships in Japan (modern time)

In modern Japan, the number of people with high education is increasing and their sense of values is also changing in many ways. 

There’re 2 types of marriage in Japan:

  • Arranged marriages 
  • Love marriages 

Arranged marriages have long been considered as ties between one family and another, rather than just in terms of personal relationships between man and woman. 

Another tendency in recent years has been that more people have been choosing to stay single in Japan (most likely because of the increase in single women with their own careers who feel that they have no need for the financial security). 

But there’re more reasons to that:

  • Contact between the sexes is quite limited in Japan (working hard = no time to date)
  • There’s almost a zero possibility to take a maternity leave and then return to your work (position)
  • Japanese rarely show affection to each other, nor do they speak well of their spouses in public


  • Divorce among the older generation is increasing rapidly in Japan. Most often, wives who have obeyed and looked after their husbands all their lives suddenly want to get divorce. Explain the situation.
  • Compare the status of women in Japan with the status of women in your country.
  • Many Japanese men have to live apart from their families for long periods of time when they are transferred by their company, a policy called ‘a job transfer made without one’s family. There are too many husbands living alone in Japan, and this situation also has damaging effect on family life. Is this because the company and the children’s schooling are considered more important than male-female relationships? Or there’re other reasons?
  • Do you think that attitudes within ‘Danjyo Kankei’ encourage young Japanese women to marry outside their culture?

Based on the book ‘The Japanese Mind’

x x x 

Yesterday I was with my dog Daisy at the vet clinic. I left her for the surgery, but her blood test was very bad and seems she has polycythemia – an increased number of red blood cells in the blood. It is some kind of blood disease. Right now she is at home and feel ok. Next session with tests at the clinic – 22 October.

My second dog – Sky – feel fine. 

Also 12 October I’m going to Stockholm – to theatre, watch a musical and shopping. I’ll stay there to Sunday afternoon (14 October). I’m going to post at least 2 more times before 12th: book review and writing challenge.  
Next week I’ll start my Cognitive Behaviour Program and continue with Japanese (which I’m studying and listening every day lol).
I’m also (still!) editing my novel, at least 2-3 times a week. 
Hopefully it will be finished some day soon. 😂😱✌️😎


Stay warm and happy! 💃☕️🥨

Next post – Book Review ‘The Japanese Mind’, Roger J. Davies, Osami Ikeno


raynotbradbury View All

Living in Sweden. Awesome. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray

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