‘When dialogue fails’ #coolprompts

#coolprompts 29 august – 3 september

There are 3 variants/choose any:

  • use the phrase ‘when dialogue fails’ in your text
  • explain when dialogue fails and why – from psychological point of view
  • give an example of the situation through a real or fictional dialogue 

To participate: post a story, poem or flash on your blog, tag the post – #coolprompts, pingback to Ray’s post (or any last post on RayNotBradbury’s Blog), if you want me to come over, read and comment. Any genre/style is welcome! No boundaries at all! It’s OKAY to bend the rules. Have fun!

My example
This is a piece (600 words) from YA-novel I’m editing. The conversation you’ll read -> between 2 girls at the house-party: Dulcinea (Dull) and Louise (Loo).
Loo is a very massive tall girl (South Korea).
Dull is a tiny small, short girl (Sumter, South Carolina). 

“Everyone deserves a strudel” 

My head was buzzing from the hunger and I-Wanna-Be-Your-Lover kind of music.
I watched how she scarfed down a dozen of small salmon sandwiches.
I decided to leave my hiding spot because if I’d waited a little bit longer – all snacks would be gone. 

“He-eyy, Doo-oo-ll” – chewing is a difficult act, – ‘I waa-nt-eed to tell-you som-eth-iiing…”
I quickly threw one tiny sandwich into my mouth, feeling like Bonaparte at Austerlitz, enjoying the moment of destruction.
“You can have the rest,” – she said with a smile.
“Thanks, Loo,” – two last sandwiches looked at me in a horror. I stroked them with a tenderness: ‘No, I won’t share you with anyone else. You are mine and mine only.’ 

“I spoke with professor Tuvesson and I have to tell you,” – her voice dropped down an octave.
“Go ahead. Bad news make my day brighter!”
“We don’t know what IT is. But professor Tuvesson said, mmmm, at least that’s the plan for the future, – Loo paused. – You have to go THERE!”
“THERE?” – I followed her hungry eyes. I’m sure they stopped on my salmon sandwiches.
“Inside of the Glowing Loop OR Swirling Window OR Death Room,” – Loo corrected the position of salmon and added. – Almost falling down, poor thing…”
She had seemed really upset about the location of fish on my bread. Did she know it was MY snack? Of course she did. But still she couldn’t keep her hands from it.

We went out, sat on the stone-paved terrace and looked up at the sky.
“I spoke with Brolle,” – Loo said.
“Who is Brolle?” – I wondered.
“A guy from ’Eleven’, he is sitting 2 chairs behind you,” –  she tried to make an eye contact, but I only shrugged. – “So Brolle told me, there’s a possibility that we are going to discover something absolutely NEW!”
“Tell me about it…” – I grabbed my last sandwich. Loo didn’t like it. She ran back to the kitchen, opened the oven, spreading the smell of the sweet cardamom and warm apples.
“Is it a strudel? Can you get one for me, Loo?” – I shouted.
“Right Away. What if it is a place where all Lives and Deaths are stored? Like in the library?”
“You are watching too many movies. Strudel, Loo!!” – I realized that her kitchen-visit is taking much longer time than it should.
“But you are the only one who can predict Death and that Glowing Crack has followed you to Sweden. Don’t you think it would be a smart move – to go inside and find out what it is?’
“I don’t like this idea!”
Sometimes when I sleep, I dream about it. How I try to stop the invasion of black-and-white tiny spider-aliens or fight against huge head-snakes… As hard as I can. But I can’t stop them.
“Where is your adventurous spirit? The Crack is here for a reason. What if there are people on the other side who needs help? What if it’s the shortest road to another world? What if we’ll get a Nobel because we’ll discover…”
“What if I’m gonna stuck in that Hole? Let me breathe one more day, Loo.’
“What if you can’t die? Like never? Brolle said you are probably bearing the new genome of humans we know nothing about.”
She stood just a few steps behind me. Her arms crossed over her white tunic like she was trying to find a comfy position for the next chewing round. I had given up hope of seeing my apple strudel any time soon.

“What if I’m just a hungry girl in the turquoise bikini, waiting for her strudel to be served?”
Loo shacked her head. Her expression was nearly unreadable.
“It won’t take long…” – she took a soundless breath, filled her lungs – “I don’t work here, Dull!!!! You have to ask the staff, Queen!!!!”
And she left.

“Well, of course I am,” – I crushed my face against my hips and laughed.

x x x

Here is the female characters. Now you met 2 of them: Dulcinea – main hero, with pink hair, Loo – Korean girl, in pink sweater.IMG_3936


Next post – ‘Reality is not what it seems’
The plan for the week is – Here

Cool prompts

Victoria Ray NB View All →

Living in Sweden. Awesome. Happy. Writing. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Drawing. Meditation/Yoga.

43 Comments Leave a comment

  1. The use of food imagery in your passage did 2 things:

    1) Got me hungry!
    2) Really served to accentuate the silly side of the situation. “What if I’m just a hungry girl in the turquoise bikini, waiting for her strudel to be served?” made me chuckle at my lunch table.


    Liked by 2 people

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