“Women are born to serve and breed, and when we fail at this, what else is there? We bring their screaming mouths into this world only to be told by those mouths, now grown, that we’re lesser than them. Only good for being on our knees, backs, or perched over stoves.” Felicia C. Sullivan
About the author:
Soheila Fors is an Iranian-Swedish women’s rights activist, writer and founder of the Khatoon-foundation for immigrant women.
Fors was born in Kermanshah, 525 kilometres from Tehran, having joined the resistance, and following the regime’s persecution of her family, she moved to Sweden in 1993 with her husband and 2 children. As the relationship became increasingly more abusive, she divorced her husband, and eventually married her current husband in 1998, with whom she has 2 children. Driven by her own experience, Fors established shelter for women to break out of isolation and abuse, focusing particularly on immigrant women suffering under honour culture.
I’d describe this book as a ‘heartbreaking’ and ‘horrific’! It is a collection of the 10 different stories, told by the women, who came to Sweden in search of the better life and freedom. Instead they have been doomed to the imprisonment and suffering. In their own homes.
The book of Soheila Fors shows you the faces that you can not see and gives the voice to women who aren’t allowed to have any. Even in Sweden. In the land of Freedom.
Today I’ll introduce you to 4 heroes. Part 2 will be posted on Saturday.
Romeo and Juliet OR
The story about the girl who fell in love with her Childhood-Fantasy.
Juliet and Romeo are little kids, 6 years old. They are neighbours. They love each other. Or so it seems.They are playing together every day. They are happy.
Suddenly little Romeo moves to Sweden. Juliet is growing up with the memories of him.
15 years passing by …and hello, destiny, – ‘our kids’ are meeting each other again – but this time – in Sweden.
Ta-ta! They are married. But they are too different. Juliet loves reading – Romeo loves gaming and casino. They can’t divorce, because of the religious traditions of their families.
One year, two…Now our Romeo is living with another woman (lets call her Maria), but his family (relatives) doesn’t know anything about it, because Romeo is still married with Juliet.
Maria is pregnant. She is visiting Romeo’s family to tell them that she is expecting a child. And she hopes to get a husband as well… the sooner the better!
The brothers of Juliet and the Romeo-family are after him – TO KILL. Romeo is trying to hide and contacting the social services of Sweden, asking for help.
The story about the girl with the name ‘God, it is Enough!’
(she was the 6th girl in the family, and her father wanted a boy)
All her childhood she have tried to understand: Why boys and men are Everything to God and girls and women are Nothing? Who is God really and why he hates women so much? Why women are ‘the worst sort’?
She studied a lot.
She was married late, in 24+ (her mother was totally devastated, because the girl who is not married before 20 is a big shame for the family).
Her husband is a very religious muslim from Sweden (plus with a great job: the doctor).
When ‘God, it is Enough’-girl arrives in Sweden, her husband give the list of the rules:
-to learn Swedish
-to go outside without your husband
-to go and look out of the window
-to call anyone without husbands permission
-to pick up the post
-to use internet
-to speak with the swedes
-to open the door to the strangers when alone at home
She still could answer to family-phone-calls, but only if her husband was in the same room.
The prisoner in the Free Land – this is how she felt.
She is pregnant and they are moving to the bigger house.
The neighbour, Lena (swedish woman), is trying to talk to her. That was the reason for the assault (beaten by her husband and lost her child).
Lena and the social services helped the girl with the name ‘God, it is Enough’ escape from the Crazy Doctor.
Her father is alcoholic, her mother is a house wife, dealing drugs. They are living in Kosovo. She is 11 years old and it is the end of her childhood.
She is married with 18 years old boy in the village. No, not because she loves him.
Her parents sold her to that family because they got too many kids to take care of, and too many mouths to feed…
She is giving the birth to her first child when she is 13.
She arrives in Sweden and she is only 18 years old ->> BUT at that time she have been married 7 years and already had 5 kids.
The Police and the social services are shocked. HOW SICK IS THAT?????
The girl with the ‘hole’ in her heart.
Sweden. She is a part of the progressive Iranian family. But she has a very bad relationship with her mother.
All she ever wanted – to be loved.
By her own mother.
She is meeting a man at the restaurant (much older man) and she feel connected – yes, he is the one who can save her from ‘loneliness’.
Marriage. Bad relationships with her mother continues. Nothing new…
One day her husband is disappearing. The police is asking a lot of questions, but she don’t know where he is. She is also pregnant… She has no money to pay for the apartment, but her father is trying to help her.
Knock-knock! The husband is at home again, right before the daughter was born.
WHAT??? The daughter?
It is a bad sign.
The husband threatens her:
– If you’ll give a birth to one more girl – I’ll kill you!
The child number 2 is on the way. Thanks God – it is a boy!
But the husband kinda like it, beating-the-shit-outta-your-wife-process…He is even trying to push her out from the balcony (from the 5th floor).
His relatives (5 people at once. What a lovely surprise!) are arriving in Sweden. They have no place to stay, so now they all are living together. 2 rooms plus kitchen – 9 people.
She has no place in her own apartment.
She is called ‘the whore’ by husbands relatives, especially his brothers. Nothing is private anymore.
The social services helped her to hide from the abusive family. But at the end she got back to her husband (when his relatives left the apartment).
Next post, Friday – ‘friends and other stories’
Living in Sweden. Awesome. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray