“If you aren’t grateful for what you already have,
what makes you think you would be happy with more?”
“The Light In The Heart”
Part 1. The Father
In the school.
Teacher (looking at the man dressed in the light-brown sack): I understand that things are difficult, but I’d like to read the essay “My Family”, written by your son.
(reading the story)
The most important member of our family is grandad. He died before I was born, but my dad says I have to be thankful to my grandad’s old condom for the opportunity to live. My grandma says that dad is very greedy. I guess she is right. My dad says nothing. He doesn’t like to waste words, money, food, or condoms. I also have 1 mom, 12 brothers and 7 sisters. I hate them, because when we all at home, in the room we are sharing together, I’m getting anxiety and can’t breathe. When I’ll grow up I’ll make a lot of money to buy a lot of new condoms.
Father: I can’t deny, things been difficult lately.
Teacher (nervously): I had no idea you don’t have money for the condoms. We could contact the school board for the help…
Father: I really appreciate that. Here’s the list of things our family need (showing a very thick notebook)
Teacher (reading the first page): Lamborghini…
Teacher: I don’t know about Lamborghini, but I have a new pack of the condoms in my apartment, so if you…
Father: You are saving my life!
In the apartment.
Teacher (naked): Relax – I won’t do anything you don’t want me to…
Father: (sad) We can’t use them all.
Teacher: I’ll buy you a new pack.
Father: Make it 3!
Part 2. The Mother
The teacher was completely naked, standing next to her dresser with the whip in her hand.
The phone rings.
Father: (to the teacher) It is my wife. “Yes, darling!”
Mother: 14,000 now! 14!!! I’ve checked 2 minutes ago. Where are you and what are you doing?
The teacher’s body reminded him of Rubens’s paintings: fleshy, broad-hipped, with generous breasts…Still, all in proportion.
Father: A month ago my wife didn’t know the bitcoin even existed but now she’ve texted me 7 times and called 5! Annoying woman!
The teacher bit his lips, trying to imagine the sensation: were they lovers or strangers who had just gone to bed for the first and last time?
The phone rings again.
Mother: It is 13,500!!!! You are an idiot. We are loosing money and you are fuckin’ the teacher of our son for the pack of the condoms.
Father: (viciously) For threeeee packs!
Mother: Ok. But make it quick!
In the car. The teacher is driving.
Father: To the left, then stop at the traffic lights and turn to the right.
Teacher: (looking at the huge 3 floors-new-house) What. Is. It?
Father: My house.
Teacher: Is it a tennis court?
Father: Yes, seven bedrooms and ten bathrooms, we also have a library-cum-screening room, a guest suite with a private entrance on the home’s main level, a library, card room, gym and an additional private guest apartment above the garage.
Father: Can I get my condoms now?
Part 3. The Son
The street is empty. The small boy is sitting on the ground, holding the text above his head: “Don’t take my honesty as a sign of weakness!”
The old woman (stopped, reading the text): Such a nice words, young man. Honesty is the key of life.
The Son: (pulling the gun out of his pocket) Sure, grannie. Now, let’s be honest with each other: open your bag, slowly…
Next post – Book Review “Everything I don’t remember”