Mr Faith couldn’t wait to get home from work… He even began leaving his work earlier this week, in hope he would have more time to spend with his stunning girlfriend Ms LoyalSpooning. She have lost her parents, as well as her house, and a former husband. All in one day. In the fire. But it was the luckiest day for Mr Faith, the mortician of the funeral agency, who peacefully lived and worked in a small french town, called Hair-Raising-Butthole.
Mr Faith have arrived at home a little bit earlier. The music and the voices inside were unusually loud.
He ringed the bell. Nobody opened. Mr Faith left the bags on the bench and climbed on the tree near his house. On the way up he met Mr HardFidelity who was sitting there in the cosy chair, smoking cigar, and filming.
“Why are you rushing? They’ve started only one hour ago. He’ve got the best tongue in this town,” – explained Mr HardFidelity, looking down.
“I have lots of groceries in my bags and I can’t find the key from the door. Seems my wife doesnt hear the door bell,” – Mr Faith felt ashamed, why he have to explain all that to Mr HardFidelity, who was known not only as the great medic but also as a porn producer. – “And what are you doing up there?”
“Looking for the stars…” – Mr HardFidelity shook his head towards the window.
Mr Faith climbed a little bit more up. Here it is – the window. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. His incredible, heart-stopping, magnificent girlfriend Ms LoyalSpooning danced on the waist of Mr TrustMyBalls.
Mr TrustMyBalls pushed Ms LoyalSpooning on the chair and started to move with a high speed, like the train: all the time ahead, never back. Until he squeezed the pretty blonde body into the wall.
“Life is speeding up, but at what cost?” – Mr Faith asked himself.
“Ahhh, here you are, darling! Did you buy the ice cream? It’s so hot today,” – Mr LoyalSpooning gave a hug to a tired, sweaty, some way shaking body of Mr Faith.
“Hot?? It is only 5 Fahrenheit!”
“Is it?” – and she jumped on the kitchen table, with an inviting smile.
“Ok, ok, I’ll show you one speedy car…”
“Make it lasts, ” – added Ms LoyalSpooning.
“Have a little faith in me!” – Mr Faith started pumping the speed, but after 0,22 seconds his ‘fire’ fell limp.
“You plumbed me to my depths, darling. So where’s my ice cream?”
On the way to the store Mr Faith met a smelly, but good looking Mr NeverDoubt, the gynecologist of the Hair-Raisin-Butthole. He looked like a solid block of granite!
“Again the ice-cream?” – all available teeth showed up on the face of Mr NeverDoubt.
Mr Faith had no time for a silly conversations.
To buy the ice cream was really frustrating, because everybody at the store have tried to ask him about Ms LoyalSpooning: is she alone right now?
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to focus on the ice cream!” – replied each time Mr Faith.
The door of the house has been locked from the inside. Mr HardFidelity trashed wildly the front seat of his chair. Something dropped on the face of Mr Faith. It was incredible: the rain in the winter!
Mr Faith left to the local bar in a hurry. He couldn’t watch how his girlfriend getting a world-class-action with Mr NeverDoubt.
Mr Faith recovered only after 5th glass. It was no longer a secret what’s going on in his house. A pretty woman touched his knee. He leaned back, closed his eyes, ready to blast off.
“One more?” – the soft voice asked.
“A guy like this has to happen at least once in every women’s life! That guy just happen to be yours tonight, ” – and Mr Faith knocked the chick on the floor.
Turned out, the chick was the worried bartender Mr TurnMeOn.
Mr Faith rushed out of the bar: “Home, sweet home!”
Mr HardFidelity arrived at the bar after 2am. Very satisfied. Too satisfied for the doctor.
“There’s so quiet in your house right now. I think you can get back, for a peaceful sleep. My guess, your Ms LoyalSpooning is too exhausted. Haha…“
“There’s no Ms LoyalSpooning,” – responded very calm voice.
The eternity passed by between them.
“No. I spread her open and filled her up like no other man ever did!”
“Hahaha..I have to tell this funny story to Mr NeverDoubt. I love your imagination, ” – said Mr HardFidelity, ordering a whiskey.
“There’s no Mr NeverDoubt either… Just a soggy mess of his bones.” – and Mr Faith left the bar, with a smile, singing “Have a little faith in me…”
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