To tell you honestly, I wanted to start today’s post with Stephen Kings quote (from “Christine”) – “I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids,” but it will be Jodi Picoult’s quote instead:
“Parents aren’t the people you come from.
They’re the people you want to be, when you grow up.”
I never wanted to be like my mum, but I love her of course. Here some dialogues (real) for you, to understand what I’m dealing with when my mum is visiting me here, in Sweden.
My mum is checking a famous russian app “classmates”, where she can see all her friends or co-workers.
Mum: Look at Zakirova (her former co-worker)! Do you know she’ve changed the last name?
Me: No. Why?
Mum: I’ve heard she’ve met a man…just imagine, in her age! I saw them walking down the street couple of times, holding hands.
Mum: (looks unhappy because of my reaction about the private life of her former colleague)…but to change the last name in her age! I think she’s 56-57yo now.
Me: Maybe it is love.
Mum: (angrily) What? Love??? I know exactly WHAT it is! Money! In what kind of world are you living?
Mum: I guess he’ve got one or two houses – that’s why… she’s walking around showing him off, holding hands.
I do not react. My mum still looks unhappy.
We are sitting in the living room after breakfast, drinking tea.
Mum: Do you understand how sick you are!? (she means physically).
Me: I’m not sick. I don’t have any diseases! Maybe a cold or influenza time to time.
Mum: What? You can faint any moment! You can drop dead on the floor!
Me: Why should I drop on the floor? Don’t be ridiculous!
Mum: You don’t have the endurance.
Me: I’m healthy enough.
Mum: No. You are in a bad condition. Bad health… And you are old! Or do you still think if 10 years ago you were feeling healthy it will continue until now?.. No way! It won’t! Soon you’ll be 60 and you’ll feel it in each your bone!
Me: But I’m 40. Please, let me be.
Mum: You are so difficult person!
She walks away. To the kitchen. And then she continue her “tirade”…
Morning. I’m reading the book in the living room.
Mum: If you had nothing to do at home (like cleaning, washing, cooking), you’d sit and read your books only! You’d go crazy!
Me: I wouldn’t and there’s always something to do in the house.
I’m still reading. My mum doesn’t like how the conversation goes..
Mum: Before we worked a lot. Physically! We didn’t read any shit! We worked! Do you hear me? And we walked a lot too. All was on the move.
Me: I’m going to gym 3 times a week and walking the dogs and food-shopping (I dont drive, so I walk there). Its kinda enough. I always spend minimum 2 hours walking outside. And I make 10-17,000 steps each day.
Mum: I don’t know. You are sitting all the time with the book. And what it ‘gives’ to you? What you, people, find in those books? I don’t understand!!
Me: Because you never read.
Mum: Because there’s nothing there! You’d better watch the news to see what’s happening in the world!
Me: I don’t want. It’s all same, everything is bad, or sad.
Mum: I don’t understand, you are like a medusa, absolutely soft and indifferent…
I have to put the book down and move to the kitchen…my mum follows me there with her ‘tirade’.
I told her that I’m writing a book. She knows nothing about the blog, and often when I’m blogging I’m pretending I’m writing something for my job. With a mum like mine you have to learn to be a “PRO-liar”.
Mum: I don’t know, you again sitting near laptop and drying your brains out…What’s the book about?
Me: Sci-fi story.
Mum: What? No! You are going to be mad or schizophrenic! Why can’t you write something normal?
Me: What exactly is normal for you?
Mum: Look at our russian series on tv…such a nice plot. Friends, love, jealousy, relationships.
Me: No. I can write only sci-fi, mystery or fantasy. And non-fiction of course.
Mum: Fantasy? What’s that? Mad-weird-sick worlds? Who’s going to read that??? (almost screaming)
Me: I don’t know. But this is what I want to write. And its fun. I can’t write a melodramatic stories, sorry. I dont know where to start, HOW to write..and I don’t have it in me!
Mum: I’ll tell you – how. Watch a couple of our russian series and write the book.
Me: What do you mean?
Mum: Change names and places. And put it together. Or even better idea – use 3-4 russian books: take the story from one and a hero from another.
Me: How I suppose to do that? Do you hear yourself? Haha
Mum: (angrily) …then write! You’ll get a humpback! And you’ll go mad because you never listening to me!
Mum: …and it will be ‘nothing’! You’ll only sit each day for hours and it will be nothing at the end! You’ll never sale it!
Me: I’m writing for myself as well…I like it.
“We don’t always do the things our parents want us to do,
but it is their mistake if they can’t find a way to love us anyway.”
J. Courtney Sullivan
I’ve got an Award…again 🙂 maybe I’ll post my questions/answers tomorrow. But ‘Luke Da Vinci’ post – on monday! Have a great weekends!