blogging

“Conversations with my mum”

To tell you honestly, I wanted to start today’s post with Stephen Kings quote (from “Christine”) – “I think part of being a parent is trying to kill your kids,” but it will be Jodi Picoult’s quote instead:

“Parents aren’t the people you come from.
They’re the people you want to be, when you grow up.”

I never wanted to be like my mum, but I love her of course. Here some dialogues (real) for you, to understand what I’m dealing with when my mum is visiting me here, in Sweden.

Dialogue 1.

My mum is checking a famous russian app “classmates”, where she can see all her friends or co-workers.

Mum: Look at Zakirova (her former co-worker)! Do you know she’ve changed the last name?
Me: No. Why?
Mum: I’ve heard she’ve met a man…just imagine, in her age! I saw them walking down the street couple of times, holding hands.
Me: Okay.
Mum: (looks unhappy because of my reaction about the private life of her former colleague)…but to change the last name in her age! I think she’s 56-57yo now.
Me: Maybe it is love.
Mum: (angrily) What? Love??? I know exactly WHAT it is! Money! In what kind of world are you living?

Silence.

Mum: I guess he’ve got one or two houses – that’s why… she’s walking around showing him off, holding hands.

I do not react. My mum still looks unhappy.

Dialogue 2.

We are sitting in the living room after breakfast, drinking tea.

Mum: Do you understand how sick you are!? (she means physically).
Me: I’m not sick. I don’t have any diseases! Maybe a cold or influenza time to time.
Mum: What? You can faint any moment! You can drop dead on the floor!
Me: Why should I drop on the floor? Don’t be ridiculous!
Mum: You don’t have the endurance.
Me: I’m healthy enough.

Pause.

Mum: No. You are in a bad condition. Bad health… And you are old! Or do you still think if 10 years ago you were feeling healthy it will continue until now?.. No way! It won’t! Soon you’ll be 60 and you’ll feel it in each your bone!
Me: But I’m 40. Please, let me be.
Mum: You are so difficult person!

She walks away. To the kitchen. And then she continue her “tirade”…

Dialogue 3.

Morning. I’m reading the book in the living room.

Mum: If you had nothing to do at home (like cleaning, washing, cooking), you’d sit and read your books only! You’d go crazy!
Me: I wouldn’t and there’s always something to do in the house.

I’m still reading. My mum doesn’t like how the conversation goes..

Mum: Before we worked a lot. Physically! We didn’t read any shit! We worked! Do you hear me? And we walked a lot too. All was on the move.
Me: I’m going to gym 3 times a week and walking the dogs and food-shopping (I dont drive, so I walk there). Its kinda enough. I always spend minimum 2 hours walking outside. And I make 10-17,000 steps each day.
Mum: I don’t know. You are sitting all the time with the book. And what it ‘gives’ to you? What you, people, find in those books? I don’t understand!!
Me: Because you never read.
Mum: Because there’s nothing there! You’d better watch the news to see what’s happening in the world!
Me: I don’t want. It’s all same, everything is bad, or sad.
Mum: I don’t understand, you are like a medusa, absolutely soft and indifferent…

I have to put the book down and move to the kitchen…my mum follows me there with her ‘tirade’.

Dialogue 4.

I told her that I’m writing a book. She knows nothing about the blog, and often when I’m blogging I’m pretending I’m writing something for my job. With a mum like mine you have to learn to be a “PRO-liar”.

Mum: I don’t know, you again sitting near laptop and drying your brains out…What’s the book about?
Me: Sci-fi story.
Mum: What? No! You are going to be mad or schizophrenic! Why can’t you write something normal?
Me: What exactly is normal for you?
Mum: Look at our russian series on tv…such a nice plot. Friends, love, jealousy, relationships.
Me: No. I can write only sci-fi, mystery or fantasy. And non-fiction of course.
Mum: Fantasy? What’s that? Mad-weird-sick worlds? Who’s going to read that??? (almost screaming)
Me: I don’t know. But this is what I want to write. And its fun. I can’t write a melodramatic stories, sorry. I dont know where to start, HOW to write..and I don’t have it in me!
Mum: I’ll tell you  – how. Watch a couple of our russian series and write the book.
Me: What do you mean?
Mum: Change names and places. And put it together. Or even better idea – use 3-4 russian books: take the story from one and a hero from another.
Me: How I suppose to do that? Do you hear yourself? Haha
Mum: (angrily) …then write! You’ll get a humpback! And you’ll go mad because you never listening to me!
Silence.
Mum: …and it will be ‘nothing’! You’ll only sit each day for hours and it will be nothing at the end! You’ll never sale it!
Me: I’m writing for myself as well…I like it.

The end. 

“We don’t always do the things our parents want us to do,
but it is their mistake if they can’t find a way to love us anyway.”
J. Courtney Sullivan


I’ve got an Award…again 🙂 maybe I’ll post my questions/answers tomorrow. But ‘Luke Da Vinci’ post – on monday! Have a great weekends!

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61 replies »

  1. Ah, the news. I’ve stopped watching those a long time ago, too. Either they’re too terrible or sad and depress me for a week, or they’re too “sensationalist” and irritate me.

    Your mother seems to have strong opinions. XD I’m sure it must be annoying sometimes, but at least she cares. ^_^

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Every once in a while something sad yet extrodinary happens; A parent comes along who is an example how NOT to be.

    Often that child will become everything their parents are not, and one of those things is greatness!

    Once again I can see that ring true.

    Warm regards
    Havoc

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh my goodness. I think I’d be crazy like that.. My mum is supportive and sometimes she just let’s me do whatever I want. She sometimes see or look at what I used to do. Check the art works im cutting or something but not nagging me about anything like that. She’s happy when I stay home at times. But I think your mom loves you and wants you to just enjoy..

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My relationship with my Mother was dreadful and even as an adult i could not repair it. My relationship with my daughter had a bad patch when she was 16-19 but now we get on very well. I admire how she has dealt with adversity in her life and has emerged a strong and independent woman and is now a mother herself.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Im glad you have a good relationships with your daughter…I think it’s important for both of u 💕💕 and yes, sometimes our parents r destroying us by too much “love” or desire to “fix” us or just not-seeing us…

      Liked by 1 person

      • I realized i could never be the daughter my mother wanted. I let my daughter be her own person( and make her own choices) and that has worked out well in the long run.

        Like

  5. I have very brief conversations with my mother, she drives me crazy. I really try to be patient with her and not judge her but it’s difficult. Maybe your mom and my mom should get together and go bowling or something. They could wallow in each others negativity. But, I do love her and I need to just accept she is who she is and the only thing i can control is how I react to her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah they can’t change us (but they still believe they can!) and we can’t change them (but still often trying to prove to them that they r wrong). Anyway, I do understand. Some mums r just like ‘ours’ – difficult:) 😂 we can’t do much about it!
      Ps. We have to send them to the bowling! For a month haha or two 😉😅

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Haha 😂 you indeed started with Stephen Kings quote. By the way, your mom sounds like a pretty normal mom. They say what they think is the best for their children. Yes, at times they seek attention, which is normal too.

    Conversations with my mom do not always go well either, which I think is fine too. This is probably due to the so called “generation gap”. Values and likings change from one generation to the next. Parents are around us for us — this is so great; this is all that matters.

    I enjoyed the entire post — every word of it. Wonderful and captivating style. Have a great weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I hope you all have fun reading 🙂 it wasn’t a #fiction this time 😄 but still I’ve tried to make you smile 🙂 😅
      I think my mum is a pretty normal, she’s just too worried and she’s trying to “fix the child” who is already a grown up person 🙂
      Anyway we have a good relationships always. Family is family.
      And thank you 😀🐶☕️

      Liked by 2 people

    • Haha…:))I knew I’m not alone in this “too-much-worried-mums”- world..I’ve learned to lie perfectly – all thx to my mum. I actually traveled Asia for 2 months by myself (alone) and she never suspected that 😂😂

      Liked by 2 people

      • Nice! lol…. I’ve done too much under the “mom radar”, some that could’ve probably had me put in jail. But yeah, my mom worries constantly. To her, I will always be 10 years old lol. She shows her love in her own way. I know she can’t help it. It’s just how she was brought up herself. I’m partially lucky because she never belittles my writing, whether she sees value in it or not. I think she does. But also, there’s probably better things I could do with my time than write my little stories and blog posts. She’s supportive for the most part, though. Not a lot of screaming lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, same here, 10yold 😂 forever, maybe cuz I’m the only child in the family too.
        My mum is against any sort of writing bcz she thinks that computers are a huge radiation and I’m her* sick 🤒 child…
        She was born in different time and she finished only 8 grades and she worked all her life. And I guess some groups of ppl are “worries about everything” 🙂 and I don’t belong to them :))

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow! What a Mom you got there! 😅😅 I hope she acknowledges your passion for writing one day I pray and that you guys obtain peace in Jesus Name! Much love and God bless! Xxoo 💕

    Like

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