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A letter to…

Dear Santa,
Dear Bunny,
Dear God, 

My dear Bill (Gates, Clinton, Murray, Crystal, Joel, Cosby, O’Reilly, Shakespeare, Thornton, McKinley, H. Macy, Goldberg, Maher etc)

I honestly don’t know where to start, so many wishes I have… Happy Easter by the way!

  1. I want you to adopt me. Wouldn’t you be so proud to get a smart and beautiful child like me: Luke Bill Copyright-Gates? And let me be honest, my life would be sooooo much easier…
  2. Girls. Every beautiful girl (by beautiful I mean 90-60-90 with the legs from her ears, huge plate-alike-eyes, zero nose and stuffed lips) – must fall in love with me. And follow my orders. I’m very responsible guy, I don’t want thousands of 2-meters-leggy-blondes running after me. 365 days in a year – 365 girls. I think its fair enough…And yes, I can handle them ALL. Would you like me to prove it? ps. I didn’t know you are so nasty, daddy!
  3. Money. I’ve counted how much I need for the rest of my life and exact amount is 8430744.57 euro. 0, 57 euro you can leave for yourself (simply like a humble reminder of my generosity), the rest should be send to my hidden Panama-account.
  4. Nostradamus. Yes, I want to see the future. And I want to be able to make a predictions. Just imagine you open Google and here I am, on each page:  “Luke Nostradamus Copyright can show you the perfect place where to hide your diamonds in 2018.  Best prediction ever! Hurry!” 
  5. I want to eat as much as I want and always look like …hm, let me think a bit. Best if I’ll send you a picture of 8-pack abs …or maybe 12 pack? Can’t choose. 
  6. Being beyond-smart. I’d like to be the first person on the Earth who could talk all languages. Why? WHYYYYY???? Hm, why… :/ Good question. I don’t know, Billy. Because of the girls? No?
    Oh and of course, the most important – I’d like to discover a new planet with a life on it. I’d name it ‘Luke-Super-Willy-Man’. Thats ok if its 434 light-years away. I am ready. Because you are going to make me immortal. If you won’t, – simply forget me, DAD, I’ll take another middle name – Vladimir. Yeah! Scared? So, let’s continue: I want to be the first president of the United Galaxies. Mmmm, – President Luke Clinton De Huge Willy. Freaking aweeeeesooommmeee!
    Oh, my dearest future parent, can you organise it?

Love, your soon #adorable child,
Luke.

PS. Can I hashtag you on insta as #mynewdaddyBill?


 

Categories: humor lukecopyright Writing

Tagged as:

raynotbradbury

Living in Sweden/Born in USSR. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray

11 replies

  1. Bahha, I love the assortment of Bills. My personal favourite is Bill Payer (from that line in a commercial for a pay-phone service: Before Calling Ask Bill Payer’s Permission. :D).

    Liked by 1 person

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