Some nights are made for torture, some for reflection, some for the savoring of loneliness, some for a fight. What’s your nights made for?..
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Sometimes I want to die. I really do. I plan it and I think about it all the time. I am obsessed with the idea of being anywhere but here. Getting to live a different life. This one, it feels so damn empty. I look for things to make me feel better, but they all so temporary and the emptiness comes back. It does not go for long. I wish I could see to a tomorrow. The days are getting so dark now. Facing my thoughts is a harder battle than I thought. I am grateful to communities like the artidote. I am grateful for support systems and counsellors. I am glad that I write. No matter what, I write. When it is out there, I never realised what that meant. I did not think that people would read and respond. I feel a little less empty. I love words…
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Living in Sweden/Born in USSR. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray