Be careful when reading health books, because you can die of a misprint.
THE ULTIMATE SPRING DETOX GUIDE
(Well-balanced healthy life. Spring 2017)
I’m walking. The wind is watching every my step. The spring is pushing me further and further, to the sun.
Ops! Someone is hiding in the bushes. Someone big.
Oh, hey, Luke! How’s doing? Jogging? In the bushes? Nice start of the day. Come closer, let me.. OMG! What happened to you?
Exercising too much? Really? By using your arms to push yourself away from the table? Ok, now I believe you. What’s in your hands?
I’m holding a book in my hands. Luke’s book. Woooowwwww. Reading: “The Ultimate Spring Detox Guide by Luke Copyright. Beast-seller, 2017”. Let me check it while we are walking, Luke…
EXCERPTS FROM THE BOOK
One of the most important things in life is to be healthy – not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Follow these steps to create a well-balanced, healthy life.
I like the start page! But who is on the picture? A muse? Does look like a trouble-maker muse…Hm.
Eat right and pants again will be too tight!
There are some simple ways you can exercise your mind. For example, you can try to go to the gym without sport clothes on. Or brush your teeth while you are putting condom on or anything you don’t normally use.
One mind-exercise a day keeps the doctor away…
Detox Diet plan. Dear Fat, prepare to die!
Breakfast. 1 kg of prunes. Mashed. Water.
Lunch. Raw onions with a coffee. No sugar. Add garlic for a taste (if you wish).
Snacks: Beans, beans, beans. Personal advice: Stay at home.
Dinner: 8 glasses of wine. Fill yourself with the antioxidants. A glass of wine for a health. Other glasses are for the dance-moves!
Before sleep: Check the picture!
Are you for real, Luke? Have you ever tried your own diet-plan? Doing right now? I seeeee.
And how it goes? The best stage is the one “before sleep” I guess…or pooping non-stop between breakfast and lunch…
Honestly, I’m scared to look at the page 4. Oh.
Surrounding yourself with a good energy will promote a happier, healthier you. What can you do?
Step a) Imagine God is here… Look busy!
Step b) The life-lesson: What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Pizza Parlor? ” Make me one with everything.” When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said “Don’t I get change?” The proprietor said, “Change must come from within.”
Lesson: Go to the Pizza Parlor without money.
Step c) Go to a meditation group and learn how to focus your mind on the positive.
It can be really hard to sit still for 10 minutes, and that’s where this hilarious and surprisingly calming book-meditation comes in ‘handy’. Literally. If loud and guided meditations have been too strange, far-out, or boring for you in the past, prepare to breathe in the good sht and exhale the bad sht outta of you with these hysterically amazing bra-pictures of the next chapter.
Where’re the pictures, Luke? Not ready yet, because you can’t choose the perfect sizes of bras?
Communication. Social health.
Speak with a girls on the streets. It will help you sort through your emotions and lose weight…How?
As we all know to lose the weight you must burn more calories than you consume. Nice girls are the nice way to burn more calories. To get all the nutrition the human body needs, you must have a balanced diet including lots of movement. The nice girl is the perfect way to achieve the greatest balancing body-movement.
Moving with a highly varied speeds after meetings will also help insure you get all the vitamins, minerals, oils, and enzymes your body craves.
My personal advice: Avoid skipping girls on the streets! The more activity – the better. Zero activity is hard on the body. Some doctors even recommend up to 6 mini-exercising a day instead of 3 long ones, which can sustain energy and steady blood-sugar levels. However, many guys end up turning their “mini meals” into ‘junk food sessions’ and end up consuming not just more calories, but emptier ones!! Be honest with yourself before making this choice on the street.
OK. And wheres the Detox- program in your book, Luke? Can I add my own page…?
I know its a boring one, but at least…goes with the name of the book lol
What do you think? Any suggestions for a page 7 lol (to be continued…)
Living in Sweden/Born in USSR. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray