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How to make grumpy people happy? Buy a doll! 

Inspired by PhotoBooth Journal Blog, post about Grumpy with a doll

photoboothgermanygrumpychilddoll

The Story.

Every mother has probably had or seen one of those emotionally draining shopping tours experiences when their child is crying or throwing a tantrum. When this occurs, all she wants is to get out of that store as quickly as possible so she doesn’t go insane.

Shopping mall. Saturday.
A beautiful woman with a child walking around in the store.

“Emma!” – said a child. 

“What did you say, darling?” – asked her mother.

“I’ll call her Emma.”

“Whom?”

I have to spend more time with her.
She is totally out of control. 

“A doll. I told you. You promised me to buy Emma when you’ll get the money from your boss. Can we go and look at her? Can we go? I want my Emma! I WANT my Emma! I WANT MYYYYYYY Emmmmmaaaaaa!!”

Be calm. Let her scream.
No-one is looking at you.
You’ve been there before, you can handle it.

“Stop yelling.. of course we’ll go and look at her. But we have to buy a warm sweater for you first.”

As the girl tested her young lungs to see how loud she could be, and as a woman allowed her stress to build, an older man (very well-dressed) walked by and made eye contact with a woman (or her legs). He smiled and said:

“I see there’re a big troubles in the house”

This hottie need some spanking. Today is your pay-check day, buddy! Yeaaahhhh!
Why all beautiful women always bringing crazy crying kids in the stores?
Cant they just leave them at home? Ok, John, you can handle this kid!

“Hey, what’s this stuff on your nose, cutie? Chocolate? – the man touched kids nose.

“Um, no. It’s a blood from when you punched me in the face this morning”

Pause.

“I’m so so sorry. Wild imagination. She has never even gotten a swat on the butt. But next time (to the girl) I’ll consider that, young lady!”

If not your mother, I’d teach you manners.

“Let me help you, ladies. As I understood, the problem is in the doll. I could ask the salesman to give it to us for a moment. Would you like to keep a doll?”

Do not talk with me in a baby voice.
Hate, hate, hate you!
Stop looking at my mum’s legs all the time.
You are disgusting!

“We had no plans to buy a doll,” – said a female voice.

“Mmmm, me too. We can just let her keep it for a while and I’ve got an idea – lets take a picture in the PhotoBooth. There’s one right here, inside of the store, near the door,” – politely answered the older man.

“Give her to me. I want my Emma!”

“Only to take a picture!”- strictly said her mother.

“Ok. Whatever,” – the girl nodded.


PhotoBooth.

“And where’s our smile? Cheeeeeseeee! Haha” – the man started to laugh. 

“I have no idea, ask your nurse,” – said the voice from a PhotoBooth cabin. 

“Ok, let me just fix a doll for the photo.”

“DON’T TOUCH MY BODY!!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO TOUCH MY BODY!!!!” – tiny scream from a PhotoBooth cabin.

This child is nuts!

“Nobody touching you or your Emma. Please, just smile…and remember, we have to be thankful to this gentleman for this amazing possibility today.”

And you will! Noooow you will, for sure.
Tonight is the night! To be thankful to my ‘Johnny’!

“No, no and no!…It was my pleasure to help 2 amazing ladies. So what you’d say about Tequilla?”

“I don’t drink”  

“Haha, its a restaurant.”

The restaurant. Of course.
What’s is on the menu? ‘Open your legs-chicken’?
And for what exactly? I see right through you, old man.

“I don’t know. I was busy whole week and I’d like to spend more time at home…” – she answered, holding the hand of her daughter. 

“You know what? I’d like to buy a doll for your kid. Cool idea?”

“Oh! Thank you so much! But No. And again – THANK YOU!”

“I insist”

It will be one HAPPY session tonight, Girl.
Hope you are ready, because I am. 


A beautiful woman and her child with a doll leaving the store.

“Are we going to Tequilla tonight?” – suddenly asked a kid.

“Yes. How did you know that? I think he’ll be very happy to see you again. Haha. Especially Emma.” 

“I doubt it. Hm. Emma would like to sing to him there. “I’d love to kill you with a kiss, oh-oh, I’d like to strike you down with bliss, oh-oh, I’d like to tie you up in knots, oh-oh, until your heart stops…”

“I like the ending only. Sing him that.” – the woman smiled.

The End. 

Categories: humor psychology Writing

Tagged as:

raynotbradbury

Living in Sweden. Happy and kind. Russian and #badgram English. Coffee and Tea. Dogs. Coding haha. Web design. Social Media. Fun. Health... everything day by day :)
Пишу на русском и на английском.

15 replies

  1. A new week, another chance, to make us ‘older’ gentlemen appear to be lecherous, and self serving!
    Might I just point out, that most Women take very good care of their ‘legs’! Shaving, lotions, potions, exercise, tanning and so forth!
    I present to you my opinion on why these ‘legs’ are so cared for………..TO BE LOOKED AT!!!! Young-middle aged- and old enjoy shopping areas where there are plenty of LEGS!
    As for the child! The gentleman in the story would be wise to carry a small roll of duct tape with him while trolling for ‘LEGS’.
    Back to the child…………should have been left home!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have to write a separate post if I want to answer but I’ll try to be short here, in my comment:)
      1. I understand ‘why’ you are so deeply touched by this post lol no judgement. You ain’t alone with your “bring me that chicken-legs” hunger 😏😏
      2. About women. Getting old, but still don’t understand how it all works, Kinky? 😂😂 if a woman “pampering” the parts of her body (legs in our case) – then the only pampered part of her ‘amazing self’ – will be exactly that=> the body (or legs). Nothing more. The women knows what you dudes are after…so next time you’ll meet such “wow”-lady I’d advice you to ask her “why Sigmund Freud always shaved his legs”:)) Hopefully her TANNING, LOTION-ed, SHAVED brain will answer correctly that question 😏😏😂
      3. Why all sweet sweet boys are trying end up their lives as a nasty, or Kinky dudes? (Rhetorical question) 😬😬😂
      4. We know where we can find you, Kinky! #GOALS = #shoppingmall
      5. Emma to every child! = my motto for today:) what is yours? 😬😂

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    2. By the way I didn’t say in the text “she pampered her legs, or it was a beautiful legs”…& i think that gentleman should have been stay home 😂 #solutiontoallproblems…but then I have to change the story :))

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  2. Haha this was excellent!! I can always count on your posts to cheer me up. I love the subtle nastiness in between and the ‘open your legs-chicken’ was sublime 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank u :)) yeah, nice text 🙂 especially if we’ll consider that I didn’t know what to write. All I knew it will be in the store and dolls name will be Emma :)) haha

      Liked by 1 person

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