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If Romeo and Juliet don’t meet, then we don’t have a story. Or do we?

This post is inspired by The Mexi Movie Blog (as I told yesterday) and her photos of the doors: Click here to check. I’ve picked 3 doors I like and I decided I’ll write 3 different stories about them. One is today, and it based on Shakespeare’s play “Romeo and Juliet”. 

SSHC play (surrealistic/satirical/horrific/comical) play, with the lessons:

Place (photo)

Heroes:
Romeo – the son of Montague and Lady Montague. A young man of 16yo, handsome, intelligent, and sensitive.
Mercutio – Romeo’s close friend.
Nurse – Juliet’s nurse, the woman who breast-fed Juliet when she was a baby and has cared for Juliet her entire life. A vulgar, long-winded, and sentimental character.
Marie – Juliet’s friend. Cute. Hobby: gossips
Rosaline – the woman with whom Romeo is infatuated at the beginning of the real Shakespeare play. The friend to both: Juliet and Marie. Hobby: none or gossips


Saturday. 11 march 2017. Midnight.

Mercutio: So here we are. Let’s try to get inside unnoticed. Which door, my friend?
Romeo: Right in the middle I think…it was too dark. Give me a moment.
Mercutio: Hey, bro, in the middle is only the window.
Romeo: Haha, that night was pretty crazy. We did it on the window too. Shhh, look, someone is outside.

Nurse (on the way out): Girls, we ran out of Jack. I’m going to the store and quuuuicklyyyy back. Don’t do anything stupid, silly kids!

Nurse is leaving.

Romeo: Mmmm, what a babe she is…don’t you think?
Mercutio: Your taste still leaves me speechless, Romeo. Lets get a little bit closer to the window. Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky tonight as well! Haha 

#lesson1 “Let him lust for you until he has blue balls”
Sylvia Day, Bared to You

2 female voices/from the window.

Rosaline: So how’s your plan with Romeo?
Marie: I think the boy is almost in my pocket. He believes I’m Juliet. I’ve screamed her name aaaalllll night for him and he was absolutely happy. So easy ‘catch’! And your Mercutio?
Rosaline: The guy is totally weird. Just imagine: yesterday I came in and found him piercing his junk with one of my hoop earrings. I asked him: O, why, Mercutio?? WHYYY??? And he told me that Romeo enjoying to draw the naked bodies in the spare time, so he’d like to surprise him. Hm, it smells sooooo wrong, my sista, but believe me, I said nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G! 
Marie: I didn’t know that Romeo can draw…
Rosaline: But you’ve met him only once! Com’n!
Marie: Oh, last night, or was it night before the last night. I prayed about you and Mercutio, my love! To God. And do you want to know what God just told me? That you deserve a better spanker in your life! Ah, have you ever met his father?
Rosaline: No, never met…
Marie: Never? You are dating almost a year with the guy!
Rosaline: So what’s about his father?
Marie: The beard.
Rosaline (laughing): The beard???
Marie: His beard is wild. A dream. For any girl. He can do such crazy things with it, (graciously) in the bed, my angel. Haha
Rosaline: OMG!OMG!OoooMyyyyyyG!!! Now I have to try it!!! Bring him on! I’m ready any day!
Marie: …of course, but only if I could watch you two. Or maybe make a video. I am one crazy vlogger! (wink)

#lesson2 “In small towns, news travels at the speed of boredom.”
Carlos Ruiz Zafón

In the bushes/behind the stairs.

Romeo: I can’t believe my ears…what a hell!! She ISN’T Juliet! My willy is still crying from the scratches of the window! I gave her all of me!! How could she lie to me?
Mercutio: I told you, – women! You can never trust them! But you can trust me fully, my sweet friend. (drooling while looking at Romeo)
Romeo: So, where’s the earring? On you right now, i guess…
Mercutio: Yeah, wanna look? It’s nice one. Touch it, touch it. ‘Harder’ is Okay! (showing the ring)

Nurse (the voice from the bushes): Oh, help me! What a beauty! So many freckles on it.
Romeo: Who are you, hiding there in the darkness: enemy or lover? Don’t be too shy, come over for a chat…we’ll keep your secret! 
Nurse: Not too shy, but just believe in love. Too strongly! I’m not like other girls! Please, – understand! 
Mercutio: Oh, goddess, give your aching heart a rest! Let us take care about everything tonight! For you and only…
Nurse: Mmmmaybe..I need workout so badly.
Romeo: Lets do it. I’m so excited! Just three of us! Yo-ho-hoooo-hoooo!! 
Nurse: Right here? In the bushes? (looking for a comfy place)
Mercutio: No, lets do it at McDonalds. McDonalds is my latest ‘fetish’.
Nurse: But girls are waiting for JackDaniels inside!
Romeo: Time is a smoke – the night ahead of us. So let them wait!

#lesson3 “Be Bad, but at least don’t be a liar, a deceiver!”
 Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

The shadow near the window. Waiting.
Romeo, Mercutio and Nurse (over-excited) left to McDonalds.

Montague, Romeo’s father (in the mask): So whatcha doing, ladies? Can I come in?
Marie: Aaaaaa!!! You scared me to death!!! And you are very welcome. (flirting)
Rosaline: …but only if you brought Viagra and the pack of condoms this time, my dear.
Montague: Of course, my pure joy. And not one pack, but two!

#lesson4 This is a rumour-filled society and if people want to sit around and talk about whom I’ve dated, then I’d say they have a lot of spare time and should consider other topics. Or masturbation. Johnny Depp

The End.

Categories: blogging humor Writing

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raynotbradbury

Living in Sweden/Born in USSR. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray

28 replies

  1. If there was not a Story about Romeo and Juliet, we would have a Johnny and Vanessa or Leonardo and Kate – always two person you have never met personally but broke your heart in a second! :-))

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahha. Let me just say this: next Thursday I’ll link to here from my Thursday Doors post, so that all the door fans can see what a door photo can inspire. And you have two more, you say, great! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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