The post inspired by ‘kinkyacres’ who doesn’t post anything, but hanging around a lot. Thanks for that!
Who is Dalia? She was a simple ‘misspelling’ or ‘autocorrect-misunderstanding’, when we spoke about Dalai Lama. Also ‘kinkyacres’ used the words lion, tortoise and old grumpy fart in the comments. I’ll use them in this play as well.
A Play with a touch of haiku
Kin-ky – free spirit, odd-enough, wise-enough, smart-enough, honest-enough, gentleman-enough, obsessed with Dalia.
Dalai Lama – is a monk of a “Yellow Hat” school of the Tibetan Buddhism.
Li-on – magnificent beauty, adventurous, athletic, over-dramatic, want to have a good time.
Torto-Ise – à la french, old, a thinker, confident attitude.
Old Grumpy Fart – after a few beers smells and looks gorgeous.
Genre: surreal-satirical-horrific-comedy, with erotical touch (I hope)
Tibet. Village. Evening.
Dalai Lama is sitting and reading the book: “The Religion of Kardashians: How to Achieve Anything You Want in 1 step”. Suddenly Dalai Lama sees a strange shadow near his door.
Dalai: Who is there hiding in the darkness? A stranger, a lover, or a killer?
Kin-ky: It’s me. My name is Kin-Ky from the Land of PressWord. I’m looking for the most beautiful soul on our planet and beyond. Her name is Dalia.
Dalai: My child, I’ve never heard about your Dalia, but please, come in and I’ll help you. Let me introduce my daughters. By faith. Girls, time for a quick catwalk, show all you’ve got. No, no. Without bikini.
My eyes on her skin.
Softly falling to get a better view.
Is it a dream?
Kin-ky: The light of your daughters is way too bright for my half-blind eyes. I feel a hunger dancing in my pants..
Li-on: Hungry is ‘good’. We need some ‘harder’ kick tonight. Dalai is always tired.
Torto-Ise: I’d like to book 5 sessions for tomorrow morning. I’ll send you the exact time to your room. (showing all her 355 teeth, smiling) We almost never see new guys in our village.
Kin-ky: You’ll never find a better helper. I was born to help THIS WAY!
The softest whispers
are the loudest ones. Telling all
to my wet sheets.
Next morning. Breakfast-room.
Kin-ky: I had a dream. About my Dalia, the girl who is the most beautiful on Earth, the most kind and …
Dalai: Yes, enough, my child. I told you, it’s only 3 of us here. Take Li-on as your wife. She’s an awesome belly-dancer.
Kin- ky: How do you know?
Dalai: I know it only hypothetically.
Kin – ky (suspiciously): She is too hairy…and I’m a little bit scared to be eaten while peacefully sleeping in my bed.
Dalai: Hm, I find so much enjoyment and pleasure to drown in all those hairs every night. Maybe because I’m bald myself. (“Sigh”)
To be eaten OR
to eat them all. This is the question.
Lets pray for ‘second’.
Kin-ky is alone in the room. The Sound.
Kin-ky: What are you doing here?
Old Grumpy Fart: Just wanted to say “Hello”. I really missed you, Kin-Ky.
Kin-ky: Oh, go away! I can’t keep you here for too long, you’ll scare all the chicks and Dalia as well.
Old Grumpy Fart: Have you found her?
Kin-ky: I wish!
Old Grumpy Fart: sh, shshshshshshshshshshshshshhhhhhhh
Kin-ky: Enough! Too much to bear for my poor, shy soul. Good bye, I’m leaving you. Forever!
Old Grumpy Fart (echoing-farts): ever-ever-ever-everrr
Refreshing and warm.
Love ‘him’ more than you could know.
We are here as one.
Night. Outside of the village. 3 shadows.
Li-on: We can kill and mummify him..
Torto-Ise: Why kill? I’d prefer to keep him close to my bed, in a cage, remember those we saw last sunday at the local market?
Dalai: Girls, girls..do not fight. We’ll share: by cutting him in pieces and each of you will get one.
Li-on and Torto-Ise: You are too kind, as always!
Dalai Lama (blushing): The kindness guides my spirit UP. Now let me show it all in action.
A bird flies sweetly
until he’ve got the wings. Lets cut
With love and care.
The Walk-In Closet of Dalai Lama.
Kin-ky: Wooooowwww, whatcha doing with all these clothes, Dalai?
Dalai: Just trying on when I’m sad and walking with my girls between the hills of our beautiful Tibet. Have you decided about Li-on? If the answer is still ‘no’…take Torto-Ise. She knows how to french-kiss. Too well (sigh)
Kin-ky: No doubt. It’s only 3 of you here.. What else you can do if not a french kissing each other every evening? (sarcastic smile).
all ‘sharks’ on the way to my Love.
Kin-ky: I have to thank you, and the answer is no. I’d like to find my pure beauty Dalia. The sun of …
Dalai: Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard all that bullshit before. I’m telling you – she isn’t here. I’d like to get my hands on Dalia as well. Eh.
Kin-ky: I cant live without her.
Dalai: Go read my book “The Art of Happy Nights”. It maybe help you to relax. A lot of pictures there. And about my dresses…if you want to try them – just ask!
Kin-ky: I’m not THAT kinky yet.
Dalai: But seems to me you are the most unhappy creature I’ve ever met. Let me check the letter from your friend one more time.
Dalai, reading loud:
“…and find him, – Lama, the Dalai of all Tibet. His name will bring you the peace, and the love and anything you wish.” Hm, the end.
Kin-ky: I didn’t get it.
Dalai: It says – Dalai. So you just found her. The Dalia of all your dreams. Haha. IS ME.
Kin-ky: I need injection. In my brain. Or better shoot me!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dalai: My child, don’t be so hard on yourself. We all do mistakes. Let me change my dress. No, stay and watch. Stay and watch…
The best way to love?
Go and visit Dalai. He knows
the way to kindness.