Depression: “The invisible agony” + “The terroristic mind”

Yes, I know, you are a Chronic Depression-ist and that’s why you are sticking to the truth you believe in => there’s no particular reason for my ‘special’ depression. Or there’s ‘very special’ reason for that. In any case, you are lucky today, because I’m going to show you “how to kill your ‘terroristic mind”. You can write your opinions (if you have any) in the comments below. Please, do not start it with “I’ve been depressed already 155 years and I still don’t know how to deal with it…and you are soooooo-soooooo wrong” (I know you want lol).

I asked my grandma: have you ever been depressed? She is very old, over 80. She didn’t get it. So I’ve tried to explain it. “No,- she said,- I never been”. Even after my explanation she was not so sure ‘What is it for the monster – Depression’. Take a note.

About me. The first time I’ve heard the word “depression”  – in Europe. Europe is a very depressed ‘animal’. I can’t imagine I could come to the doctor in Russia and tell him: “I feel sooo depressed. What to do?”…but it is very ‘welcome’ here.

Here’s Your Food of The Day and something to reflect about:

1. You are trying to convince yourself -> you are anti-social. Ok, you are…You are scared of the silence and you hate too much noise. But does it mean that you have ‘to draw’ in each corner of your mind the sketch of: ‘I am socially awkward. People sucks. Nobody understands me/my creativity’? Yes, WE DON’T. And probably we NEVER WILL. Every man around you has his own ‘social’ sorrows. And the world know nothing about them. And the world DOESN’T care to know. But it doesnt mean we are all “anti-social”. Your sadness is your own choice… Your ‘anti-social behaviour’ is your own choice. Stop to be a crow. Be a nightingale. 

2. Too much TIME. Too much THINKING. “The time is the bitch.” You’ve got too much time to think about doing things that never will be done…too much time sitting around and biting your own elbows – “why, oh why life is so hard.”
What to do? “Out on the field – with arse up!” – I’d say. But because you are sssooo tender creature:

Step #1: Fill up your Time right
Step #2: Do not over-activate yourself.
Step #3: Do not dig too deep inside of your own self.
#IMPORTANT: Too much thinking = Too big problems

We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking about everything. Think. Think. Think. You can never trust the human mind anyway. Its a death trap. Anthony Hopkins

4. Laziness. I do not mean sitting on the couch watching Netflix on Sunday evening. I mean your enjoyment of enjoying of doing nothing (plus add here: the planning of doing nothing). It is kinda ‘The Whip’ of Our Generation. Its difficult to escape. I’m struggling every day. I do not stress over it tho. But I do not cuddle with it as well. Find “The Gold Middle”. Stick to it. 

5. Superior or Not? You believe you are very special, almost superior and nobody (ah, so bad people, mad world etc) do not see that/ do not appreciate that/do not understand that. You deserve much more. No doubt, buddy. Here I’d advice you to get back to number 3 and re-read it again, because seems to me you have plenty of the time for that…

6. You define things/or feelings wrong. You are too vulnerable. Yes, me too. Welcome to the world of ‘vulnerable’ people. You are one of us! And your vulnerability + ours vulnerability = make us stronger. Accept yourself.  Show yourself.  Understand: To be alive is to be vulnerable. This is NOT a reason to feel depressed, but only to be happy, creative and new…

7. Death. You are probably telling yourself: “We all will die, and none of what we do matters. So, why bother to try?” BUT I’m telling you: You can have everything you want. Maybe not at once. Maybe not today. And no, not tomorrow. Oh, OK – maybe never 🙂 But still…you can do the best of the worst. You can find that you’re able to start new page, see people with a different point of view, feel something you never felt before and in case of fail – start all over again. And, hey…here will come the most important message: you can always find the time to tell yourself “I’m the Depressed One”…so don’t worry about it. Takes 1 sec. Haha


Say to yourself – what you really are, how you want to live, what you want to do. Loud. Make it your mantra. Because usually people only hear what they want to hear. So say it. Many times. R-E-P-E-A-T! Until you’ll get there. Until you’ll transform your wall into a door.  

To think too much is a disease. Dostoyevsky.

Next week:
Monday – Drop your Ego!
Tuesday – Luke
Wednesday – A play: Dalia or Dalai
Thursday and Friday – probably a break. We all need a rest from me 🙂
Saturday/or Sunday – Behind the Doors and Blue People

Image:Mary Lock


52 replies »

  1. Great post! I think 1 is very valid. I think it gives us relief to not NEED to be understood. It is human tendency to want people to get us, but our happiness should not depend on us. We can use our unique experiences and perspectives to our advantage. What we do with our time and our habits really are so important in how we feel and how we exist in the World.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey there Ray! I found your blog today, and I’m nominating you for That’s So Jacob’s March Blog Madness! It’s simple: find five interesting blogs today, copy and paste this comment, and give them a follow! Have a great day and if you’re so inclined, kindly come visit me over at Have fun spreading the blog love this month!


  3. Wow.. what an amazing post. I don’t suffer with depression per see, but I do have a mind which seems to spin out of control at times. I think the overthinking thing is definitely on point- if I spend too much time on my own, and over thinking things.. god that’s when everything gets broken down to scales which don’t even exist!! Is ridiculous..! But this is all awesome advice, thanks. Plus I love the look of your blog- really unusual, I like!:)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. No need to answer the ? of last evening. I have a question though. when you have an ‘idea’ pop into your head, let’s say a new car, house, clothing, pet. You feel full of joy! BANG, almost as fast as it was there and ‘positive’ it seems that it starts to erode with what I’ll call ‘negative’ reactions. Soon you have convinced yourself that, either it was a bad ‘idea’ and you cannot afford it or simply you don’t deserve it!
    My question is, is this “depression”, too much negative vs positive, or just mental masturbation??

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is NOT a depression. I’d say: mix of low self-esteem + feeling of never enough + doubt + narcissism + split of U positive & U negative + thinking tooooooo MUCH about the idea itself instead of going & WRITING IT (creating). When I’m getting idea popping out in my head=> I write it down, and I leave it to the day I’ll write. Means: I forget about it for a while. Then I’m sitting & writing it. I don’t think how good or bad is it. Just writing, enjoying the writing. After I read & criticize. And then I post, bcz I’m always saying to myself: what a heck…ppl posting such a bullshit nowadays, – ur stuff is a gold yo! …hahaha

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Very clear, and strong! A re-read for sure! The feeling of, ‘being awakened’ is in the room!
    Damn, you’re good!
    Disclaimer: Most of what I typed was from my head! Too early (here)) for sarcasm!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great read. You did step on my toes once or twice, lol. I will be depressed now, just kidding! I liked how you trivialized this Depression thingy and how you called out depressive people on their implicit pride.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. We need to start paying close attention to the centre of our being – the vertical line running through the middle of the body linking the throat, chest, upper belly and lower belly. This is where we will experience our needs, feelings, instincts and intuition.

    Our sensitivity and vulnerability reside in these centres/chakras.

    We need to allow our breath to flow and feel the sensations in the throat, centre of the chest, solar plexus (upper belly) and navel (lower belly). Maintaining a compassionate curiosity while doing so and keep dropping any story of judgment, analysis, speculation or anticipation.

    Simply we need to feel the sensations inside our centre.

    By fully experiencing the emotions in our centre, we will start to develop resilience – the ability to face challenges with equanimity without overreacting or under-reacting to situations.

    Facing our emotions this way is a very real and practical way of
    developing self-esteem and self-confidence.

    We need to try this regularly throughout the day. And then check in on our centre-line often by asking “How am I doing inside?” and then let the breath flow.


  8. Whenever we are depressed, we need to wait for the moment that the depression goes. Nothing lasts forever; the depression will also go. And when it leaves us we need to again wait and be aware and alert – because after the depression, after the night, there will be a dawn and the sun will rise. If we can be alert in that moment we will he happy that we were depressed. We will be grateful that we are depressed because only through our depression was this mint of happiness possible.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. A very beautiful message and a great topic selected to write on. And so proud you wrote it once again so beautifully. Writing this to let you know you are appreciated even though I know you need not need anybody’s words to confirm. But yes, this post will be a great help for many. Thank you for the compassion shown. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person