“Give a man a mask, and he’ll tell you deeper and darker truths.
But he’ll also be more abusive, unaccountable and demonic.” Cory Duchesne
So I’m here. With you. On WordPress. Every day. I’m reading you, my wonderfully-outstanding-phenomenal-incredible-surprising-almost-divine-but-still-scary Bloggers (don’t worry, that probably ain’t you. I love reading new peeps/posts too, preferably very simple-straightforward-smooth-plain-light-transparent-easy-as-pie. I’m always checking the comments too. Yeah… I know everything what’s going on behind your curtains if there’re any haha) and I’m often thinking: ARE THEY REALLY WHAT THEY ARE “WRITING”..? Partly, I guess, we are.
Example: Myself (so nobody get hurt lol). It doesnt matter what I’m writing – I do not feel it. Not really. Not as you are thinking I do. Not as you are ‘imagining’ I do. But it’s definitely somewhere inside of me (not so sure).
The life itself.
But it isn’t me.
Still not me.
How many percents of me there?
I don’t know.
All I’ve figured out: someone else is ‘living’ in my writings (I just simply do not recognize myself there, people).
So far I’ve posted 100 blog stories/and poems+reposts here. Today, while scrolling down in my dashboard – I was totally shocked: I couldn’t remember the content of some of my posts. Literally. Of course I’ve opened them. I read 1-2 lines. Ah, YESSSS! It was me who wrote it. Hm, but I couldn’t relate to it tho. Never 100%. But whatever. (ps: my blog is only 3 month old)
Ok, dont tell me now: “it is only your bad girly memory, Ray” (I already know it is bad. I already know I don’t care much about keeping in my mind anything I don’t want to keep. Or even what I want to keep. Its much easier to survive day by day. OBS! Take a notes, all depressed outta there).
Ok, I’m “mean”, a harsh paper. A lot of people on the internet think I’m weird-wicked-mean-scary-frightening-terrifying-nightmarish-itchy-hair-rising etc.
But am I?
Yeah, maybe I am.
But this is not my truth.
This is your truth.
My truth is – I am SWEET. To be more precise – my HEART is SWEET. This is the only truth I know. (don’t eat me, haha)
My father called me ‘Rediska’ = english version of the word is “the RADISH”. He always told me, that I’m sweet soul, but NOT in the way people usually feel the ‘sweetness’, but ‘flavourful’ some way, to the point you are forgetting the taste and thinking ‘this radish‘ is sweet-yummy-spicy-appetizing-delicious-heavenly-sugar-coated 🙂 And he always loved it so much. Ok, I was only 7 yo then. Hahaha. But I still am what I am. The Radish. We can’t change our ‘core’. We are changing daily, but we are what we are…
Fred may always be a soldier at his core,
but that doesn’t mean that “soldier” is the ONLY thing in his core. #comicsquote
What are you, my fellow blogger? Get on THE PLATE…NOOOOOWWWW! :))
Silent reminder: you are always welcome here, my lovely Maniacs of WordPress! 🙂