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Going backwards

A gorilla does not budge from a banana thrown at it by a monkey. BE LIKE GORILLA!


Does it ever feel to you like you’re going backwards? Not literally, but sort of in a metaphysical manner.

I struggle with depression, as well as what I’ve recently noticed as social anxiety. For quite some time, I thought I had been doing good, had started getting through my fears and short comings. That is, until last year, where certain things happened, my self-esteem took a major blow and became non-existent, and I now feel like I’ll never be truly right again.

Although it’s been years since MOST people have actively criticized me and made me feel bad, depressed, and even suicidal, my brain has started back up with that disgusting little habit. I think you’d know the one, where if people talk indiscreetly, they’re actually gossiping and judging you. In fact, the whole world may be judging you, so feel bad for no apparent reason.

My depression has also…

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Categories: psychology


Living in Sweden/Born in USSR. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray

2 replies

  1. Definitely can relate to this. I struggle with depression and anxiety also. It has helped me during times of struggle to remember that life comes in waves and things do get better with time and building healthy habits. It helps to remember what we have control over and what we must surrender to. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Agreed..👍 there’s even technique in mindfulness called “riding the waves” & yes, we have the control & we are 💪’s just sometimes the waves are up – sometimes down

      Liked by 2 people

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