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3 facts about me. #3february 

  •  I’ve always had low self esteem. By all possible tests (in the school). Probably that’s why I’m lacking the ambition as well and a wish to become “yo, Success”.

But not anymore. I actually broke through  it.

If you break through a barrier, you succeed in forcing your way through it.

The thing is that part of my last name (in Russian) means “shit/crap”..yeah, I know 🙂 it’s funny 😂 but not just “shit”, to be correctly -> the place in the prison where criminals are going to the toilet. And of course the kids in the school called me so.

My reaction? Never fought back. I probably was too calm child then, mostly observing. The most difficult time was when I’ve started to ‘move’ from the observing child to too much talkative child. The time of the fighting with a bunch of the stupid kids.

Very funny, but later most of the guys in the class tried to date me. Oh, please. Hahaha. Never. I never dated anyone in high school or college.

I got married. After college. At once. Why to wait? Thats how I roll. Hahaha (another scary story lol)

OPS! Want to mention only… do you know why people who are bullied very seldom fight back? This behavioural phenomenon called “Learned Helplessness” (american psychologist Martin Seligman). You can find it if you are interested.

  • The best ice-cream ever is the one from my childhood. Vanilla. Nothing can change it. I don’t know why…maybe because my mother never allowed me to eat real ice-cream. Only warm-like-a-milk ice-cream. She cooked it, I mean steamed/boiled/ it. Haha.

And after that I could “drink” my ice-cream.

Why she cooked it? Because it was too cold (I know, thats the idea actually). My mum was always scared of flu/cold/diff diseases.

  • I don’t have friends. I know a lot of people. And when I’m traveling and visiting any country/city in the world/ I’ll find a company. Very easy. VERY.

For example, I don’t drive…but I’ll find people who WILL DRIVE ME EVERYWHERE 🙂 When I’ve been in LA, each day I could find people who’d drive me in different places around (for free, haha). And no, I never had sex with them. Maybe they had some hopes, but why should I care, right? ‘wink’. Let’s say the truth: they did it because they enjoyed my company. I’m friendly. I’m kind. And most important: I can communicate on your level if I have to.

And I can talk. A lot.

But I don’t have ‘friends’ as you does. And maybe that’s why I have never been depressed in my life (maybe for one day only haha). My mum often called me – “One day”-girl, because all of my depressions lasted only 24hrs.

I think people who are depressed …kinda missing something/someone. I don’t. I’m USED to it. To be alone. To enjoy life alone. To do things alone. I can’t imagine my life some other way…


raynotbradbury View All

Living in Sweden. Awesome. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray

27 thoughts on “3 facts about me. #3february  Leave a comment

  1. These random facts were quite fun. I love the tone of your writing voice, you’re very self deprecating. I’m in high school right now, and I can see why you wouldn’t want to date anyone–ugh, people.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, ppl like me 🙂 I don’t have problems with that. I’m like a truck haha in “finding” of ppl or good conversations:)) if I need it. I can talk on any level as well: wanna hip-hop? I can hip-hop. Wanna talk Kama-sutra? Sure. Wanna Bible verses? Easy. Wanna oil-drawing, camping, science, business? Oh, I can talk about anything haha. But back then I was very calm/my teacher told to my parents that I was too shy/ & I spoke ONLY with ppl I knew (family, close friends) was difficult to talk with the other ppl. I didn’t know where to start, so I always been quiet child. I mean I never been that kind of crazy, monkey-ish at the school, home. My father was alcoholic and my mum had 2 jobs during 10 years. It wasn’t exactly the life to run around and laugh and entertain. But I’ve got huge experience…and I’ve stopped to be shy in the high school. I don’t remember why or how it happened. I think I’ve started to tell to ppl what I think instead of keeping it to myself.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s for ppl who want travel (mostly for free 😆) – uses for local advices also..u can find any city in the world there, they have meet ups also in each city, it’s huge community. Ppl host & ppl meet ppl. And it’s possible to ask anything there as well (local ppl/members) so sure, check it

    Liked by 1 person

  3. As for the part of your name and low self esteem join me. Never thought highly of me either. My mom and wanted to make sure no one could make nasty nicknames of my name which is great. In Sweden it’s hard to make nasty rhymes of Christian but of course they had to give me a 2nd middle name which is Nils. Yeah that one can be used in so many ways, Nils or Nisse is like a gnome. So yeah thanks mum and dad 😆

    Oki ice cream that’s just weird. 😆😆 apologises to yr mom but wtf!

    Part 3, same as u. I have loads of friends but close friends. Nope and I kinda like it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The wonderful adventures of Nils!!!! Aaaaa, I loved it so much! That’s toooooo nice middle name for you haha YEAH…cooked ice-cream! Never tried? Try to steak it haha my mum was totally mad about it: only warm ice-cream or ZERO ice-creams! So that’s why I never been a huge fun of ice-cream 😂😬 part 3: same here. Yes, it feels good. We r all connected anyway 😉 & that’s enough :))

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Three interesting facts. 🙂 And particularly interesting about the link you make between depression and friendships. I’m very fond of my friends but, as I think of it, often my most centred/calm/enlightened times have been experienced in complete isolation. Definitely one to think about.

    It’s always good to hear what you have to say. 🙂

    PS count me in for good ol’ vanilla, too… or strawberry if you’ve eaten all the vanilla. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Take it allllll! Haha 😂 Vanilla & strawberry. I don’t eat ice-cream often, actually only when I’m traveling- never at home:)) About depression & friendship I’ll answer later a bit, I’m on the go (not at home yet).

      Liked by 2 people

    • About depression and friendship. Ppl often feel low because they think they are missing out on something/someone or they r longing for someone/something. So they are starting eating up ourselves and create too much swirl/whirlwind around (or in their lives). And then they are feeling even worse. And they are stressing out bcz of it. They become weak too. I think if I’d have too many (or in my case, any real friends) it would stress me out, it would create kinda “obstacles” for my normal breathing/being. We are all connected. We meet a lot of ppl anyway.

      Liked by 2 people

    • I’ve been on the go, too, this evening… haha I even had a little ice cream. 😉

      Oh, you are indeed a wise soul. 🙂 I think you’re right that yearning and the ‘fear of missing out’ is a very destructive, diminishing power that eats people away from the inside.
      We ARE all connected. Hmm, well perhaps you could say you have no real friends, but a great many ‘associates’? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah..but still I think would be right to say I dont have friends at all. I know a lot of ppl around the world of course (bcz of my travels), but in Sweden I have zero friends (I could have, but always kept my distance) and in Russia – only childhood friends (but I haven’t seen them from the time I’ve started work 18/19yo so I’ve lost connections), with some ppl I keep in touch and can meet up even, but I do it rarely. Once in 5 years lol 😂 so mmmm, do I have friends? Nope, don’t think so :)) I call them all friends tho: ppl I know & don’t know haha

      Liked by 2 people

    • Ah, very interesting… you’re definitely a ‘people person’, I’d say.
      Haha well I get lost in the semantics; I have very many associates and a small number of friends [defined as someone who I’d trust with my life]. Mostly I refer to them all with the [very “British”] umbrella term “chums”… it saves time. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Interesting. I was bullied most of my school years. I don’t have any friends, I kind of like it that way. My favorite flavor ice cream is Pistachio, yup, pistachio. Probably one of the reasons you can get free chauffer’s is because you may be smart, but it doesn’t hurt to be pretty. Your mother heating up ice cream is very strange. I liked getting to know you with this write. And I liked how you wrote it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sorry I just saw it :))yeah, it’s hard to be bullied. Later on I worked in the high school/gymnasium and I saw how some children could easy create the groups &decide about other kids=> if they r good enough to join or they should stay outside. Always was a huge fight to stop them (even when I had more power as a teacher..but it’s difficult to prove that they r creating those groups). I like pistachio. But I think first time I’ve tried pistachio – I was 28,29 yo lol 😂 And yes, I’m smart maybe (plus pretty haha) but it’s also thanks to I met hell lots of ppl while traveling and using this website.

      Liked by 1 person

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