- I’ve always had low self esteem. By all possible tests (in the school). Probably that’s why I’m lacking the ambition as well and a wish to become “yo, Success”.
But not anymore. I actually broke through it.
If you break through a barrier, you succeed in forcing your way through it.
The thing is that part of my last name (in Russian) means “shit/crap”..yeah, I know 🙂 it’s funny 😂 but not just “shit”, to be correctly -> the place in the prison where criminals are going to the toilet. And of course the kids in the school called me so.
My reaction? Never fought back. I probably was too calm child then, mostly observing. The most difficult time was when I’ve started to ‘move’ from the observing child to too much talkative child. The time of the fighting with a bunch of the stupid kids.
Very funny, but later most of the guys in the class tried to date me. Oh, please. Hahaha. Never. I never dated anyone in high school or college.
I got married. After college. At once. Why to wait? Thats how I roll. Hahaha (another scary story lol)
OPS! Want to mention only… do you know why people who are bullied very seldom fight back? This behavioural phenomenon called “Learned Helplessness” (american psychologist Martin Seligman). You can find it if you are interested.
- The best ice-cream ever is the one from my childhood. Vanilla. Nothing can change it. I don’t know why…maybe because my mother never allowed me to eat real ice-cream. Only warm-like-a-milk ice-cream. She cooked it, I mean steamed/boiled/ it. Haha.
And after that I could “drink” my ice-cream.
Why she cooked it? Because it was too cold (I know, thats the idea actually). My mum was always scared of flu/cold/diff diseases.
- I don’t have friends. I know a lot of people. And when I’m traveling and visiting any country/city in the world/ I’ll find a company. Very easy. VERY.
For example, I don’t drive…but I’ll find people who WILL DRIVE ME EVERYWHERE 🙂 When I’ve been in LA, each day I could find people who’d drive me in different places around (for free, haha). And no, I never had sex with them. Maybe they had some hopes, but why should I care, right? ‘wink’. Let’s say the truth: they did it because they enjoyed my company. I’m friendly. I’m kind. And most important: I can communicate on your level if I have to.
And I can talk. A lot.
But I don’t have ‘friends’ as you does. And maybe that’s why I have never been depressed in my life (maybe for one day only haha). My mum often called me – “One day”-girl, because all of my depressions lasted only 24hrs.
I think people who are depressed …kinda missing something/someone. I don’t. I’m USED to it. To be alone. To enjoy life alone. To do things alone. I can’t imagine my life some other way…
Living in Sweden/Born in USSR. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray