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EXTRA WIFE

Right before Cain killed Abel in the field, the verse says, “Cain spoke to Abel his brother”2—yet the Torah does not tell us what this final exchange of words was all about. Could they have argued over something that led to the murder of Abel?

If you are too religious – do not read further. 

ABEL: Forgive me…but I need an extra in my life.
One wife can’t satisfy all my eating habits.
You know we are too peaceful here,
in this kingdom…
But if you will continue to harass her
To move into your room, –
I’ll show you some Kung Fu.

CAIN shouted: You come to me and asking for pardon,
pardon is not in my self of existence and rule.
Kung fu? one more trophy for Abel’s bedroom?
I wouldn’t be surprised, I ain’t God
Who trust each word your dirty mouth pronounce.

ABEL: The mental hospital is not so far, My Dear Cain.
I guess my humble work today is simply
to pray for your safe journey there.
Oh…Kung Fu is not a trophy,
It is a knowledge –
how to kick the dumbest ass you ever met.

CAIN: God saw me hungry and he created Her.
That perfect piece of flesh for loneliest and darkest hours.

ABEL: God saw me without problems
And he created you…

CAIN: How dare you? …
One more word  
And I’ll tell all truth to God
About your nights and dreams
And who you really are!

ABEL: He knows. He’s also gay.

CAIN: Haha, I swore that was the best joke I ever heard,
because my stomach laughed itself into hollow tree trunk.
HA-HA, HA-HA, HA-HA.

ABEL: Believe or no, I’ve kissed him.
Three times…

CAIN: Now I know my life’s purpose, O Abel!
My work is to delete you
from the face of earth.
You are the wrong creation!
God… please, give me all strength you can
because …
So, do you like me, Abel?
I mean, ‘that way’. 
If yes, then time to prove it.

ABEL: Earth doesn’t seem to move
in moment when I see you, Cain…
You are my brother.
I love you always.

/…………..action-time……………………………../

CAIN: O Father, forgive your Son.
He just ruined all my bones.
His hands…the syllables inside them.
Too magical.
But still
I dont want people in my village to find out
Who Abel really is.
And what happened between us.

/……………action-time……………………………/

CAIN: I need advice and quickly!
To kill him while he’s sleeping?
Or to continue the dance of ecstasy
between the sheets of fire?

ABEL: Your soft and quiet voice with love that’s true..
I never could imagine you and me
Alone. And so tender. Hand to hand as one.
Falling into night,
While watching beauty of sunset on pebbled sand.

CAIN: Decision made.
I gain an extra wife
and plus get ride of this romantic bullshit.

According to the Midrash, both Cain and Abel were born with twin sisters, whom they married. However, Abel was actually born with 2 sisters, and they fought over who would marry the extra wife!

Categories: humor Philosophy poetry Writing

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raynotbradbury

Living in Sweden/Born in USSR. Happy. Ayurvedic food. Healthy lifestyle. Dogs. Literature. Painting. Meditation/Yoga. I love my life.
"It does not matter how long you are spending on the earth, how much money you have gathered or how much attention you have received. It is the amount of positive vibration you have radiated in life that matters" A. Ray

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